Saturday, June 30, 2012

Chapter 30





“Richie!” He heard someone behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw it was Tina. She had yelled at him a few weeks ago for sitting here instead of in group therapy. “What are you doing out here? You’re leaving in thirty minutes.” She said, continuing her way.

“Thought I’d look at this,” he gestured to the pond with the trees around it, “it’s nice here.” “It’s supposed to be, kind of like a peace or meditation garden.” Tina said, finally standing next to the bench.

“Yeah, Sarah and I had some very good talks here.” Richie said. “She’ll be here soon.” Tina answered him. “Yeah.” Richie agreed for the first time.

He thought of everything they had done, how could Sarah not show up? She was going to be here in less than half an hour. He could feel butterflies starting to flutter in his tummy. He hadn’t felt them since they slept together, he was glad they were back.

“Are you all ready and packed?” Tina asked. “Yeah, just need to get them bags and I’ll be ready to go.” He answered, getting excited that he was finally leaving. “That’s great Richie, I’m gonna miss you, you were a very nice resident.” “Thanks, you were a very nice, eumh, desk person?” He wasn’t entirely sure what her job at that desk was. “Close enough, come on, it’s time to go.” Tina said, starting to walk back.

Richie got up from the bench, walking back over the grass. After a few steps he turned around, taking a mental picture of the garden, the trees where they had picnicked and said how much they liked each other, the beautiful pond with just a few water lilies. Finally, their bench, it stood a few feet from the pond, the black metal and dark wood stood out in the green grass. It fitted both of them perfectly even though the back, that was made out of metal flowers and leaves welded together, was occasionally uncomfortable.

It was time to leave; he turned around again and continued his way.

Upstairs he got his travel bag and his guitar case. As he closed his bedroom door he was glad he was going home. Back to reality.

At the top of the stairs he allowed himself one more time the feeling of the king of the mountain as he looked over the rooms. Tonight he could do that at home.

He could see some people had gather by the door to say goodbye but out of the glass doors he didn’t see anyone, he was probably too far away to be able to see.

He continued his way downstairs; maybe he could look out a window and see. He hadn’t felt this nervous to see somebody in years. She’ll be here, he told himself.

Downstairs he tried to look outside again but didn’t see anything more than the walkway that led to the tree surrounded parking lot. He didn’t like that; it reminded him of his dream. It was only a dream.

“Looking for someone?” He heard Megane’s voice next to him. “Not at all.” Richie answered sarcastically, like she didn’t know who he was looking for.

“I think I saw a car.” She said, thinking it could possibly be Jon or Sarah. “What kind of car?” Richie knew what kind of car Jon would rent or hire someone to drive. “A black SUV.” Megane said.

Richie was relieved, he knew Jon would rent that kind of car, at least Jon was there; his dream was not coming true.

At the desk Tina gave him his phone back. It felt good to have it back. The first few days without it, it was weird not to constantly have it in his jeans’ right front pocket, but he got used to it.

Now he would at least have his planning. If he had that before he would have known he had rehearsals next week.

“Good luck Richie.” Tina said to him as they walked to the door. “Thanks.” He simply said. He was ready to leave now. Everything that he had learned would help him through. He knew he’d be fine now, even better with Sarah in a few minutes.

“It was very nice to meet you.” Megane said while Richie was saying goodbye to everyone and made it to her. “It was nice meeting you too.” He had started to like her a little the last few days. Megane hadn’t done or said anything inappropriate and he was quite pleased with that.

“I’ll see you soon.” Megane said with a smile that sort of freaked him out. He didn’t need a stalker. “What? How?” He asked confused and surprised. “Dunno,” she shrugged, “have a feeling, probably a concert or something, so no worries.” Megane explained to him.

He wondered again if she was psychic or just plain weird. “No groupie stuff.” Richie said strictly. “I promise.” She said quickly. Richie raised his eyebrows a bit in question. “Cross my heart.” Megane added, crossing a finger over her chest where her heart would be. Richie’s expression didn’t change. “Hope to die and all that other stuff that comes.”

Then Richie smiled. “Great, I wouldn’t mind seeing you again, just no groupie stuff.” He explained, he didn’t mean all bad. “Would a hug be totally inappropriate?” Megane asked. “No, I think we can do that.” They shared a quick hug before Richie said goodbye to her and the rest of the group.

He turned to the door, his guitar hung over his shoulder, his bag in his right hand. With his left hand he pulled the door open.

The walkway that led to the parking lot wasn’t very long, he had only walked it once but in the other direction.

Just like in his dream, the walkway was empty. He took one look back at the doors behind him, and then looked down at the pavement. As he raised his head again, his eyes followed the asphalt from his feet to the other side where he saw other feet walking towards him.

He followed the shoes he saw, looking up at them before he walked closer. There were the three people he wanted to see most right now but they waited at the parking lot.

Richie saw his best friend talking to the lady that was standing on his right. His eyes focused on her when she smiled at what she just was being told. God, he had missed that beautiful smile, he realized now even more than he already had.

He looked to the other pretty girl on Jon’s other side. How could she be here? He has discussed a plan with Heather to pick her up from school. Why hadn’t she said she’d be here too? This was much better than surprising her at school.

Ava was the first to approach him, walking away from the adults that had accompanied her, with her arms wide open. “I missed you so much daddy.” Her arms closed around him.

His bag fell from his hand and his guitar slid off his shoulder, resting at his elbow from the force of the hug. “I think I missed you more.” He said as he hugged her back. “That’s just impossible.” She looked up at him, not letting go yet. “Oh is it?” He asked, adding a kiss to the top of her head. Ava smiled, “I’m missing school to see you so I must have missed you very much.” She explained and put her head back down to hug him again.

Richie chuckled, he knew his daughter. “Of course,” he said, “you’d never miss school for something that’s not important. You love school too much for that.” He said. “Exactly.” Ava answered very serious and innocent.

“Shopping with mum is also very important.” Richie teased. “She told you we went shopping yesterday?” Ava asked surprised, letting go of the hug, her eyes wide open. She knew how important her dad thought school was. “No.” He smiled back at her. “Oh.” She realized she had just told him herself.

He loved that she was still young and innocent enough that he could trick her even though he knew Heather sometimes took her to the mall when she actually had school.

“Hey, I thought you couldn’t wait to hug me again.”

Richie hitched his guitar higher, back up his shoulder and picked up his bag. He was glad Jon had given them a few minutes. “Coming honey bun.” He answered, walking towards him.

He dropped his bag again; laying his guitar carefully on top of it, making sure it wouldn’t fall off. Then he wrapped his arms around Jon. “I missed you so much angel.”

Jon hugged him back but said, “Only my mum can call me that.”

Richie let him go. “Sexy then?” He asked. “No,” Jon shook his head, “only Dottie can do that.” “What do I get to call you then?” Richie asked. “Sir or boss.” Jon shrugged, giving a simple answer. “Yeah?”

Jon nodded his answer. “What about ass munch or ass hole?” Richie suggested. He was glad he could joke around with Jon again.

He heard Sarah chuckling next to him and finally turned to her. “I see you already met Jon.” He said. “Yeah, I was standing there,” she pointed at the other side of the parking lot “and he came over and asked if I was your girlfriend.” She explained how they met only a few minutes ago.

Richie took her hands and lifted them in between them, pulling her closer to him. “I guess that is the question of the day. Are you my girlfriend?” He looked into her eyes, searching for an answer before she could say it.

A smile appeared on Sarah’s face. “Of course, after everything the last few weeks, of course I’m your girlfriend.” She smiled up at him.

Richie pulled her closer, bringing her hands to his chest and gave her a short, soft kiss.

“I like that.” He said with a big smile. Then he looked down at their hands on his chest, noticing he wasn’t feeling skin. “What did you do?” He asked worried, as he lifted her right wrist that was wrapped in a white elastic bandage.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, “I sprain my wrists and ankles all the time, weak joints.” She said. “You’ll see.” She gestured to the future in which she was sure she’d do it again. “You’re sure it’s fine?” He asked not entirely convinced yet.

Sarah let his hands go and wrapped her hands around his neck. “Very sure.” She said before she kissed him more deeply than he had done, trying to proof that it was fine and that she was ready for this relationship.

“Love birds, we got young eyes over here.” Jon complained, covering Ava’s eyes with a hand while she was trying to get away from him.

Richie flipped him off without breaking the kiss.

“Come on Ava, we’ll let them walk home.” Jon took Ava with him towards the car.

“I missed you so much; you were all I could think about, which isn’t so good while looking for a job.” Sarah said when they finally broke apart. “I missed you too, everything reminded me of you.” He hugged her close; he didn’t want to let her go any more.

“I’m sorry about Jon though, he’s an idiot.” Richie apologized. “It’s alright; he’s your best friend.” Sarah knew how two boys could act and knew boys didn’t grow up. “As long as you don’t think he’s cute anymore.” Richie jokingly referred to a few weeks ago when Sarah had said the actor in Pay It Forward was cute. “Not after seeing you.”

When they stood facing each other again, Richie held Sarah’s chin and softly stroked his thumb over his jaw. “I missed seeing all this prettiness.” Sarah chuckled, she wasn’t so sure about that yet, and she definitely wasn’t used to someone saying she was pretty. “I’m serious.” Richie said honestly, and then pulled her chin closer to kiss those pretty red lips he had been hoping to kiss again.

“I’m sorry; I’m not used to being called pretty.” Sarah blushed when he let go. “No worries, you’ll get used to it hon.”

“Ass munch, we’re leaving, get in or walk.” Jon pulled up next to them the car. Richie knew he was only joking around.

“See what I mean,” Richie said to Sarah, “just no respect for anyone.” He shook his head even though he appreciated it that he had left them alone a few minutes, but they had to go now. Sarah chuckled, she liked the banter between them, and it showed how close they really were.

“Are you coming too sweetheart?” Jon asked Sarah nicely. “Only I get to call her that sexy.” Richie told him as he opened the back seat door for Sarah and carefully gave her a hand to get in.

Richie picked up his bag and dropped them in the trunk as he rounded the car. He got in the car behind the seat his daughter was in and moved closer to pull Sarah next to him.

He held her hand as Jon pressed down the accelerator and navigated the car out of the parking lot and on to the road.

Richie sighed; this was perfect, he got reunited with his daughter. His best friend would stay a few days too and the best of all, he had the girl he wanted right next to him and he wasn’t letting go any time soon.

“I’m glad you came.” Richie said to her. “You know this doesn’t immediately fixes all my problems right?” Sarah asked quickly, making sure he still understood what it all meant. He nodded. “I know; we’ll work it out.” He assured her. “I’m willing to try.” Sarah said before she reached up for another kiss.

Richie chuckled at the irony that she used a song lyric again. Sarah looked up at him. "Another song?" Richie simply nodded with a big smile.










Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Chapter 29

During breakfast Richie wondered if his dream really had meaning. If it had meaning, would it become true too? Hopefully, if Sarah did come it would be less weird than in his dream.

He imagined how she would stand there, they’d hug and kiss and Sarah would say she’s ready for it. Then they’d go home and be happy forever.

He almost laughed at himself. His dream may have been weird but his imagination sounded like a fairytale. He knew it wouldn’t be that easy, there’d be a lot of things they had to work on.

For starters, he was leaving for New York in only four days, how would Sarah handle that? He knew he should have told her sooner but he had forgotten it. Maybe he could convince Jon to only rehearse one or two days, then he could go back home and have a whole week before leaving for two months. He wished he could just take Sarah with him but how would that work? Next week Wednesday they’d leave to Croatia.

He didn’t know what but he’d figure something out.

Of course Megane had followed him to the kitchen since they had been talking in the living room. She didn’t seem so bad but didn’t want to talk about himself anymore, which gave him an idea.

He interrupted whatever she was talking about. “So Megane, what brought you to the center?” He hadn’t asked any other residents that question but maybe he could change the subject and find out more about her.

“Nothing really bad.” She said, reluctant to tell him more.

He didn’t care, she always got him to talk, and he’d get her to talk. “What’s not so bad then?” If it wasn’t so bad, then what was she doing here anyway?

“Well,” Megane sighed, it was the first time Richie saw her not cheerful, “I just needed a break. So it’s really nothing.” She explained but he wasn’t going to let her go that easily, he was going to find out. He hadn’t pushed Sarah to talk but Megane pushed him so he was going to push back.

“What do you need a break from?” She was only 21, her life was only starting, he couldn’t imagine why she needed a break. “You’ll think it’s stupid.” Megane said instead of answering his question. “I won’t think you’re stupid.” He answered and meant it.

He didn’t see how she’d need a break but she was here so she probably thought it was bad enough. He knew not to judge people before they could explain.

“Well, I never finished high school and I worked very hard to get into college and it’s been so much and so difficult, I just needed to get away from everything.” Megane explained with a deep sigh.

It was the end of May, wouldn’t she be missing classes right now? Richie understood she needed a break but she couldn’t miss classes, he knew from experience that that was a bad idea that only led to more skipping classes. “Aren’t you missing classes right now?” He almost actually cared. “No, I have a two week break, then two more months and I’ll graduate.”

Now he was a little confused, she said she had a job where she met a lot of people and claimed that was how she could read people so easily. “I thought you had a job?” Richie had his last bite of toast and got up to get another cup of coffee.

Megane moved uneasily in her chair. “Not really, I’ve been doing an internship the entire time. They already offered me a job in August.” “That’s good.” Richie said. “What is it that you do?” He still wondered.

“I’m studying obstetrics and gynecology.” “Oh,” he was a little surprised with that, it wasn’t what he expected although he didn’t know what to expect, “you get to know people from that?” He asked confused. “Yes, sort of and good intuition.” She explained.



Breakfast was over by 9 and Richie had two more hours before he was leaving, he had no idea what to do until then other than watching tv but he really didn’t care for tv right now.

He was leaving the place where he met beautiful Sarah. Right here in the living room had she first talked to him. The next times he had seen her she was in the kitchen, where they continued to eat together for the rest of Sarah’s residency.

Most importantly, he thought of their bench. With that he walked outside, following the path until it ended in grass and he could feel the soft soil under his feet as he walked over to the bench and sat down, he looked down over at the pond.

They had shared so many feelings, thought, emotions and kisses here. Ah the kisses, he thought, her soft lips that he longed to kiss again, hopefully in a few hours.

He remembered the joke he had made about the bench, how he had wished he could take it home. Sarah had said he probably could as a rock star.

Richie thought of the first time Sarah really opened up to him. How she had told him about the things in her life, how difficult everything had been for her and she wanted to try, slowly and carefully.

She just had to be there to pick him up later. That first time that they really talked, was also the first time they kissed. She had reached up so slowly and had kissed him ever so softly for a few seconds. After her confessions, he had barely dared to kiss her back.

The second time he felt much more comfortable kissing her.

This bench really held a lot of memories. Their relationship had grown closer every time they spent time by it. He almost felt sad that it would be the last time he was sitting on it, even though he was sitting by himself now. If only he could really take it with him. Then they could continue growing closer to each other every time they would sit on it. It was their bench.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Chapter 28


"Sarah, do you hear that buzzing sound too?" He thought it might just be his ears but the sound was getting louder by the minute. He got confused when Sarah didn't answer, she hadn't said anything the entire time.

He reached over her shoulder and hit his alarm clock, making the buzzing stop.

Rubbing his eyes, he realized it was a dream. That was weird, he thought. At least he had gotten some sleep and felt a little rested.

When he finally looked at the clock for the time it was only 5am, he got three hours of sleep. 5am, he thought? He would never set his alarm for 5am.

Tonight he’d sleep in his own heavenly bed, it would probably be almost as good as sleeping with Sarah.

Richie stayed in bed a while longer, trying to fall asleep again but at 6am he gave up.

In the bathroom he grabbed a clean towel and put it by the shower before turning the water on and stepping in. One of the advantages of sleeping naked, he thought, he didn’t have to undress to shower or dress after one to go to bed.

He got the water to the right temperature and stepped under the shower head, letting rain down on him, he tried to wash away last night’s dream but not last night’s worries.

He didn’t know what to think of it, it was strange and it all seemed so real. He continued washing his hair and body, staying away from the area around his groin, which wanted attention every time he thought of Sarah.

By the time the room was hot and steamy, his mind was completely empty.

No sooner than when he was dressing his room did his worries return. Only now, he was even more worried. He thought was because in a few hours he’d know and that made him nervous, what would happen?

He made his way downstairs to the living room to watch tv. It was early and this time he really was alone in the room. It was only just getting light outside, with that and the empty room; it gave him a peaceful feeling.

The quiet was nice, much nicer than watching tv with people chatting at the tables. His room had been the only place where it had been completely quiet, until now. The center was always busy, people everywhere and the only place for some peace and quiet was his room. It felt nice to watch tv alone, without anybody else.

Sometimes he needed some time to himself, like everybody else did.

The first person to join him in the living room was Megane, a few minutes after 7am. “Good morning Richie.” She said cheerful as she sat down next to him on the couch. “Morning.” He said, he could say goodbye to his peace and quiet now. Soon he’d be back home and have all the time he wanted, until Sunday.

“Not excited?” Megane asked surprised at his down to earth answer. “Big day today.” She said. Richie nodded, it was a big day, finally he would find out what Sarah’s decision was. His dream crept back into his mind. “Yes very big, exciting.” But he didn’t sound like it, the memory of his dream changed his mood in an instant.

Did it have meaning? He never thought dreams had meaning, they weren’t reality but this was a current event and it seemed so real, so life like, that he hadn’t even noticed it was a dream until his alarm buzzed way too early. Come to think of it, he never set and alarm. Weird, he thought again.

“Richard, I’m talking to you.” Megane said a bit louder to get his attention. “What?” He asked confused, coming back to reality. “What were you thinking about?” She asked him nicely. “I had a weird dream last night.” He explained, still unsure if it had meaning or not.

“Really? What was it about?” Megane asked excited to know. “It was weird I was leavingbut when I got outside neither Jon or Sarah were there.” He started, unable to continue. “Jon is picking you up?” She asked a little more excited. “Hey, you’re a Richie girl.” He playfully scolded her. “Yeah you’re right. What happened then?” Megane asked, her mind back to his dream.

“I found Sarah hiding behind a tree. She came over, we hugged and then my alarm went off but I never set an alarm. I just heard buzzing and woke up.” He explained it all in a nutshell. “That’s weird alright, but it’s obvious what it means.”

“What does it mean then?” He challenged her. “Come on, that’s obvious.” Megane said. “Enlighten me then.” Richie said, if she thought it was obvious what it’s meaning was, he wanted to know. “Okay,” Megane started, “you were alone, which I think might mean that you’re scared to be alone.”

Scared to be a lone? He didn’t know about that.

“It could also mean you’re scared Sarah won’t show up.”

That made more sense to him. He was scared for that, the last few days it was the only thing he thought about the last few days while usually he didn’t worry about things, he would just see what happens. “It must mean that then.” He agreed. “What about the rest?” Maybe Megane was right about dreams having meaning.

“Sarah hiding,” she thought out loud, “that would mean she’s scared, but she was there, so she was willing to try even though she’s scared.” “That’s a good thing.” Richie said, if his dream had meaning, he hoped it would become true.

“A very good thing, you said she thought she wasn’t ready for it, she’s willing to try.” Megane said. “What about the buzzing then?” Richie asked still confused about it. “I don’t know, maybe you just needed to wake up, maybe it set itself, electronics do weird things. Dreams are weird too.” Megane said honestly not really knowing, with a shrug.

“Maybe. Maybe she’ll be there some time my alarm really goes off.” Richie joked. “That could be.” Megane said, surprised Richie thought of it, not realizing he was only joking.

Richie sighed, if only it were true.

“You’ll be happy to see Sarah again, you both will.” She was still sure of it. Richie didn’t understand how Megane was so sure about what would happen between Sarah and him. She hardly knew them, unless she really did believe his dream.

“If she’s there.” Richie pointed out, sounding a little sad but he didn’t want to get his hoped up and be crushed when she wasn’t there. “You’ll see.” Megane said. “She’ll be there. There’s obvious chemistry between you two, I see you together for a very long time.”

“Are you psychic?” Richie asked, still confused by her thoughts. “No, I just know people.” She explained again. “Besides, some people are very easy to read.”

“I’m easy to read?” He asked surprised, he didn’t like that idea, was it easy for other people to read him too? That wasn’t a good thing, especially if he was in public; could people read him then too?

“How many more times Richie? I just notice those things; other people don’t pay enough attention to notice anything.” Megane said when she saw the worried expression on his face appear. “You’re kind of mysterious.” Richie pointed out. “Thank you.” A big smile appeared on Megan’s face, taking it as a compliment.


Go to the next chapter

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Chapter 27


Richie spent the last night of his stay awake in his room. The party had finished around 10pm and he had gone straight to his room.

After midnight he had enough of staring into the darkness at his ceiling and got up.

He packed his bag, which he had left for the morning but he had nothing better to do now, so did it now instead. He got all his clothes together, finding them on his chair and on the floor in the bathroom. Neatly he folded them up and put them in his travel bag.

It didn’t take him long; he was a pro at packing and hadn’t brought much anyway.

When his bag was ready and stood by the door, it was an hour later. He hoped he was more tired now and able to sleep.

When he was in bed again, he kept on tossing and turning. He realized the last time he had slept perfectly peacefully was with Sarah. Now that his mind had drifted off to Sarah he knew he’d never sleep.

Would she be there when he walked out? Would he once again be able to put his arms around her and hug her? Those soft full, red lips, would he kiss those again? The beautiful sight that she was, every little part of her looked so perfect, would he see that prettiness again?



A few hours later, it only felt like a minute since he lied down in his bed again after packing but now he was standing by the door, ready to leave.

He said his goodbyes quickly and walked outside, ready to see Jon and hopefully Sarah too.



He pushed the door open, nobody, his heart sunk. He didn’t want to feel crushed when Sarah wasn’t there, but he was alone outside. He had hoped so much she’d be there but the walkway to the doors was empty, nobody but him. He could feel how his heart broke into a million tiny pieces.

Jon wasn’t there either, he realized. Jon had promised to be there, how was he getting home now?

A minute ago he was so excited, but that got replaced with sadness and loneliness now. How could Jon forget him and where was Sarah?

He moved to walk to the parking lot that was surrounded by trees, maybe they were waiting there. There was no use in standing in front of the doors; he had to get home somehow.

One of the trees behind the parking lot caught his eye as he walked towards it, did something move there?

Must have been leaves or a branch, he shrugged, what else would it be, just the wind.

As he got closer to the tree, he saw there were no branches that low where he had seen something move a minute ago. Confused he stood still and looked at the tree. He tried to focus his eyes; did he see someone standing there?

Why would anyone hide behind a tree? Unless paparazzi had found out where he was staying, but how could they? Nobody knew where he was except for Jon and Heather, even Ava didn’t know. And Carl, Fred, Jerry and Sarah, had one of them tipped the paparazzi? How could friends do that?

No, they wouldn’t do that. Carl didn’t even know him. Jerry might have had an idea but he never mentioned it so he might not know either. Fred and Sarah wouldn’t do something like that, he could trust them.

“Who’s there?” He finally shouted at the trees. He felt silly, shouting at trees in an empty space where clearly nobody else was but him.

He saw someone step out from behind the tree; he could see it much clearer now. It seemed like he only focused on that tree and nothing else around him. He took a few steps closer. He couldn’t see who it was yet so he didn’t want to get too close in case it was one of those paparazzi photographers.

“Sarah?” He thought it was her that he saw. Her dark blond hair became clear, her face, her beautiful eyes and gorgeous lips. There she was.

What was she doing hiding from him?

She didn’t move any further and stood by the tree, so Richie walked over to her, walking closer to all the prettiness he saw, he realized even more how much he had missed her the last few days.

When they finally stood facing each other, Richie embraced her in a big bear hug. “I missed you so much.” He hugged her tightly; he didn’t plan on letting her go for a few minutes.

Finally he just stood there, stroking her hair, wondering how it got to be so soft, he realized it was the first time he stroked her hair. He stood so close he could smell it.

She was there. She was really there.

He felt so relieved, his heart that had broken in millions of pieces was fixed the moment he hugged her.

He was so worried she wouldn’t be there and there she was. He’d probably die a year sooner because of all the stress he had the last few days, but he was sure all the happiness he’d have from now on and for years to come would extend his life by years. So the stress was worth it in the end.

Now he had Sarah, his life would be perfect, together with her. He couldn’t wait to get home now. But how was he getting home?



Go to the next chapter

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Chapter 26


Wednesday morning, finally it was his last day at the center. He couldn’t deny that he had been counting down the days. Today was finally his last day, he felt happy, proud and excited.

Tonight he got his own party but there wasn’t really anyone he wanted to celebrate with. He liked Tina and Megane too but they weren’t friends like Sarah had been.

Sarah, he thought, what would she be doing right now? Circling jobs in a newspaper or pushing that to the side to spend time with her family first?

He knew what he would be doing first. Then again, he didn’t have to look for a job. Actually he looked forward to rehearsals next week, he wanted, he needed to play. It had been two and a half months since he last played in front of a crowd. He felt much like when he was on a break of the tour. He liked his break but now he was ready for work again.



At each therapy session today he got congratulations. He was proud, he even felt like he had learned a lot more than last time at rehab. He was ready for his next challenge.



After dinner and chatting to Megane he went to see Tina, it was Wednesday after all. “Let me guess, phone call?” Tina asked as she spotted him walking towards her desk. “Of course.” Richie said happily. “Thought so.” Tina smiled back before getting his phone.

“You have to make sure they pick you up. It would be a shame if you had to stay longer.” Tina joked as she gave him his phone. Richie chuckled. “Nothing personal but I really want to leave.” “Then go make sure they pick you up.” Tina urged him.

Richie turned around and sat down in one of the chairs that he always sat in while making his phone calls home.

He wondered if he should phone Sarah too, she had given him her phone number, he had the piece of paper up in his room. He really wanted to hear her but maybe he shouldn’t, if he’d phone he’d try to make her come tomorrow and he didn’t want to pressure her. It was entirely her decision, as bad as he felt about not knowing, he had to leave it to her. Only then he’d really know that she wanted to, that it was her decision.

He started to dial a number he hadn’t dialed during any of his calls.

“Hey.” Came a short answer. “Heather, you alright?” He asked concerned, usually she answered the phone a lot more cheerful. “Yeah, I’m alright, busy day, busy evening. Your daughter is very excited to see you.” She explained.

Richie chuckled, that certainly explained a busy evening. When Ava got excited, she would talk non-stop. “That’s exactly why I’m calling, tomorrow, when I get home…” He started explaining the idea he had, first Heather sounded confused but after he explained it all, she seemed to understand what he meant.

Heather couldn’t be there tomorrow and Ava had to be at school, so Richie’s idea seemed like a great suggestion and Heather agreed to it.

They hung up and Richie dialed the next number on his mental list he had made.

“Jonny!” He almost shouted when the phone was answered on the other end. “Don’t gotta make me deaf too Richie.” He answered Richie’s excitement. “Sorry, I just miss you so much.” Richie said. “I can’t wait to hug you again.” He continued to joke.

“Richie,” Jon said sternly, “I’m a married man.” Richie almost chuckled when he sounded so serious. “She doesn’t need to know.” He urged. “I’m sorry, I’m not into guys. Women got these things called boobs and oh my God, those are amazing.” Jon explained, almost as excited as a gay man that just found new pink shoes, trying not to laugh while he talked.

Richie sighed. “I’ll have to try my luck with this woman Sarah then.” He concluded, he was too good for Jon anyway. “Oh Sarah?” Jon asked interested. “Yeah, I told you about her, if all goes good you meet her tomorrow. You are coming tomorrow?” Jon was his ride home, he had to be there.

“Of course, I’m flying at night, pick you up at eleven, go to your place and we’ll fly back to New York on Sunday.” Jon explained, still cheerful about their earlier horseplay while Richie groaned. He looked forward to rehearsals but he had forgotten it was in New York, he would only have a few days to spend with Ava instead of the almost two weeks he thought he had.

“I forgot.” Richie confessed. “You can’t miss it.’ Jon said, Richie hadn’t played in a while. Even though he was probably one of the best guitar players in the world, he couldn’t get away with that excuse from Jon. He needed to practice. “I know, I’ll just have to figure something out.” He didn’t want to tell Ava they only had a few days, he didn’t want to disappoint her. What about Sarah? If she showed up, he’d be leaving again in a few days. Was he going to have a long distance relationship with Sarah that fast?

Richie sighed. How could he forget, rehearsals were always in New York, he was the only one that lived on the other side of the country and sometimes it was a real disadvantage. With that, they started talking more about business.

After a few minutes Richie had to hang up to phone Ava. They said goodbye and Richie dialed the next number.

“Daddy, why didn’t you talk to me when you talked to mom?” Was the answer he got, she sounded disappointed. “Cause I had to talk to Jon first so I would have more time to talk to you. What’s up?” He asked leaning back in his chair, ready for her long report of the last week.

Tomorrow he’d have the whole evening to listen to her. While listening to her talk about what happened in English class he wondered how she could keep talking like that without ever losing her train of thought or her voice, she could continue for hours. But he liked listening to her; it was another thing that made him happy.

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Oh we should go out!” Ava said excited. Richie chuckled; being in public was one of the things he didn’t want to do right now. If paparazzi spotted him, the questions would never stop and he didn’t want to tell them about his time at rehab, which was definitely something private.

“I thought we could stay in, order some food and watch a movie or something?” He suggested. “Yeah that’s cool too, as long as you actually watch the movie.” Ava said just as excited. It didn’t seem to bother her what they did, which was good cause Richie was looking forward to spend time with his daughter.

He had a lot to make up for since last time and he only had a few days to do it. They talked for the remainder of the half hour that was left.

Saying goodbye to her was just as difficult as the times before even though he was seeing her tomorrow.

After handing his phone back to Tina, Richie returned to the living room where everyone had gathered already. He was happy with the congratulations he got but he wished his friends could be there. Not only the friends he had made here but his other friends too, they should be here. He had shared the last twenty-six years of his life with the rest of the band, they should be there to support him and celebrate with him. It was seriously time to leave and get back to his normal life.


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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Chapter 25


Monday morning Richie was glad his schedule was full. Group therapy was in the morning as it always was and in the afternoon he had two private sessions of two hours. He’d be busy all day until about 5pm.

That way he couldn’t think of Sarah, he thought. Usually he liked thinking of her, it made him happy but now it made him worry and he didn’t want to do that. He couldn’t spent his last three days worrying about something that wasn’t in his hands anymore, he gave away that option. Now it was time for Sarah to make a decision. She knew what he felt and wanted, it was up to her if she’d take the chance with him to feel the same.

There he was thinking about it all again. He tried to finish his breakfast without another thought and went off to group therapy.

Four new people had arrived during the last week and weekend, bringing the total of patients back to twenty-three. During the entire time of his stay, there hadn’t been more than twenty-five people, including him.

Now he didn’t know anybody, he knew some faces, but not the people behind them. All of his friends had left during the last few weeks.

Carl was first to go after Richie had been there for a week. That was alright, he still had Fred but he left the week after that. He had enjoyed teaching Jerry some guitar when they had time but he had missed his goodbye party last Friday while trying to fix what he had with Sarah. Yesterday morning Sarah had left, so he ran out of people he knew.

Then Megane popped into his mind. He knew her but did he like her? Last night she seemed like a nice person, talking to him and trying to convince him that everything would be alright. Only a few days ago her actions were completely different. Megane had apologized for what she did so he knew he had to let that go but what if she tried something again?

Why would she convince him everything would be alright with Sarah if she had other intentions? That didn’t make sense.

He had to stop thinking, about everything. His mind just went back to Sarah every time and he had group therapy to concentrate on. His mind was driving him crazy. He tried to clear it again and focused.

Hours later, after dinner he lied in his favorite sun bed on the terrace with his guitar on his chest. The position he was in reminded him of the day they wrote Memory. How Jon had lied almost upside down on the couch, with his feet over the back, hardly able to play any notes but it had worked out perfectly, they created a beautiful song and in the end what did it matter how they did it. Or even where, for their last album they had even recorded some songs in his bathroom cause they liked the acoustics of it.

He missed Jon and the rest of the band and crew. He wanted to be on stage, to feel that high of performing for thousands of people. He had been here long enough, he thought, he wanted to get back to his life. The last American leg of the tour was over by now but he was antsy to get to Europe, to show his millions of fans that he was fine and still rocking.

He knew they would worry about him even they didn’t know him, he was their idol and they loved him. After he left rehab last time, he dedicated a song to his fan at every concert.

Richie spent the rest of his evening outside, playing his guitar. As always it made him happy, feel relaxed and finally made him stop thinking. Only a month ago he was drinking alcohol to feel all those things, now he couldn’t shut up his mind unless he was playing guitar or when he was with Sarah.

What if he got addicted to his guitar, would people complain about that too? Who was he kidding he had been addicted to his guitar for almost forty years, he had just forgotten, he should indulge in it again.



Tuesday went much the same for him. During breakfast he talked to Megane, she was the only person he knew, sort of and he didn’t want to make new friends if he was leaving in two days anyway. He talked to people but nothing more than small talk. The whole conversation Megane was polite and didn’t say anything about his life as a celebrity or rock star. He was quite happy with her change. Now she seemed like a nice girl, not like a groupie.

Richie’s schedule was the same as the day before and after lunch he was off to his first private therapy. It was nice to reflect on the progress he had made during his stay. He had hardly though of any alcohol in the last four weeks, except Sunday evening, but now it was out of reach so he couldn’t even drink when he wanted to.

Next week would be different, the week after even more. Sarah was right; outside the center things would be so much different and a lot more difficult.

Especially with his life, anyone’s life for that matter, if what you had to stay away from was so close to you every day, it was hard to stay away.

He could party without alcohol, he knew that, but it would be hard if everyone else was not. He knew they wouldn’t do it to tempt him. The first week they probably wouldn’t even drink around him but even that would change. It was just him that couldn’t, so why should the rest not? They didn’t have a problem so he didn’t feel like he could take that away from them.

It wouldn’t be easy but he knew he could do it if he stayed positive, just like he had been for the last four weeks. Positivity worked, he knew that and learned it many times throughout his life. He had come this far to the end of the first step. He knew the second step would be a lot harder.

The end was in sight.



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Monday, June 11, 2012

Chapter 24

Sunday evening he sat alone watching tv. Not exactly alone, the rest of the group was there too but his arm rested over the back of the chair where Sarah would have been sitting. Would she once again sit in his arms or was this morning the last time he got to hold her?

He didn’t want to think about it. He wanted her to make the right decision but he feared that what he thought was the right decision, she might not and he really didn’t want to think about that.

First the first time in almost four weeks he thought about alcohol, he needed a drink. It was his usual way to forget his worries and clear his mind. He wanted to forget and have an empty mind, nothing to think about. He felt lonely, the friends he had made had left the center and the friends he had were on stage, now he was alone, worrying about Sarah.

He wasn’t exactly worried about her, a strong woman like her would be fine, but would their relationship be too? He wished he could force those thoughts away but in a place like this he couldn’t do that the way he used to.

It wouldn’t change anything, he knew that, alcohol only made him momentarily forget his problems and he had learned not to drink his problems away but face them. He knew that before too but facing them was a difficult thing.

The only problem was that he couldn’t face them until Thursday. Then he knew he’d go on with Sarah or without her. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it?

When the couch dipped next to him, he looked up, he hadn’t been that deep in thought for weeks and when he was everyone kept interrupting him. His mind had been so occupied that he didn’t hear anybody approach.

“Are you alright?” He looked up to focus on Megane; he hadn’t expected her to be the one to ask a question like that. “Yeah I’m alright.” Richie said even though he knew he wasn’t and his voice made it clear. “You don’t look alright. You look sad, you miss Sarah.” Megane said without making it a question.

He didn’t answer, why did she even care? If it were any place but this she’d be one of those groupies that sneaked backstage. “You really like her.” She pushed for an answer.

He didn’t want to talk to her, what did she know? How would she know who he liked and didn’t like. Maybe she should see who he didn’t like and leave him alone.

“Fine, don’t answer.” She said after a while. “I know you do. I sort of know you and I haven’t seen you this happy in years.” “You don’t know me.” Came his sharp answer. Fans always thought they knew him when in fact they didn’t know anything at all.

“I don’t mean I know you like that, I mean as a fan, I haven’t seen you this happy in pictures since Heather.” Megane explained, still full of confidence, it didn’t seem to bother her he almost yelled at her.

Richie thought it over, he did feel really happy around Sarah, everything was better with her around. But as happy as he was with Heather? He loved Heather, all the years they were together and still. Did he feel the same way about Sarah? He’d only known her for a few weeks. He couldn’t be in love with her. At least not yet, he didn’t even know if she was going to show up and start their relationship for real.

“So what are you saying?” He asked Megane. So he liked Sarah, what about it? “Nothing, I’m just saying it’s obvious you like Sarah.” She shrugged like his question couldn’t be easier to answer.

He nodded, he knew that, he liked Sarah from the first time they got to spend time together alone.

“A lot.” Megane finally added. A smile appeared on his face. “See,” Megane said, “you do like her.” Richie smiled even wider. “I do, a lot; right now I miss her so much I wonder if I’ll see her again.” He said honest.

Maybe Megane wasn’t such a bad person anyway, she got him to talk and admit he liked Sarah. Maybe she wasn’t that bad after all.

“Why wouldn’t you see her again? Didn’t you tell her how much you like her?” Megane asked a little confused. Richie shook his head. “Of course I told her but she might think she can’t do it.” Richie tried to explain, he didn’t feel like he could tell Sarah’s story. He started to like Megane but couldn’t trust her with that.

“She might not be able to do it? You’re confusing me Richie, what are you talking about?” Megane asked, more confused than earlier. After seeing Sarah run away last Friday she thought they were together.

He thought a minute for a way to explain without too much detail. “Sarah isn’t sure if she can handle a relationship right now.” Richie explained easily without giving away details about Sarah’s life. “Oh,” Megane said, “but she likes you.” It wasn’t a question she was asking, she knew.

Richie shrugged. “She says she does but when we get close, she runs away.” He thought of earlier that morning. She had actually ran away, the first week, she spend days hiding from him. Running away was something she hadn’t done before.

He tried not to start wondering about it but it hurt, knowing he had made her so uncomfortable that she couldn’t talk to him or stay with him and the only solution was running away from him.

“She really does like you.” Megane insisted. Richie shrugged again, he knew Sarah had said it and meant it but now he wasn’t sure if she liked him enough to get past the fears she had.

“Trust me,” Megane started again, “I know people and she likes you, you’ll see.” She sounded so sure of it, like Sarah had confided in her with her feelings. “I hope so.” Richie really hoped she was right but the only way to really find out was waiting until Thursday morning when he would leave the rehab center. “Trust me.” Megane reassured him again.

“How can you be so sure?” Richie asked. The songs he played may be about hope and not giving up, and he knew he should take his own advice but right now he didn’t feel very hopeful. He was scared, what if he never saw her again, if she didn’t take the step she needed to take.

“Like I said, I know people. I could see right away how much you like each other. Well after…” Megane told him. Friday she had no clue but when she saw them going outside Saturday, she could see it immediately.

“We were trying to keep it unnoticed.” He thought their efforts had been a waste. Did everyone know? Tina knew, but she had cameras.

Megane chuckled. “Come on Richie, I told you, I know people. I haven’t heard anyone else mention it.”

“Okay then.” He hoped she was right. “How come you know people so well then? Are you a psychologist or something?” It would explain her knowledge of people but what would a psychologist do at a rehab center? Didn’t a psychologist help people at a rehab center?

“Not at all but I see a lot of people at my job and you get to know people like that.” Megane explained with a shrug like it was that simple.

After a few more minutes, their subject changed to small talk. They quite enjoyed talking to each other until Megane stood up from the couch. “I’m going to bed, see you tomorrow.” She said as she made her way out of the room.

Richie had started to feel pretty tired for the last few minutes too. “Wait, I’ll walk with you.” He said as he tried to catch up with her.



Go to the next chapter

Friday, June 8, 2012

Chapter 23

Richie woke early the next morning. According to Sarah’s clock, it was five hours before she had to leave. Unable to go back to sleep, he watched Sarah sleep.

While she had looked so scared and worried the night before, she looked so peaceful and relaxed now. He knew she would be fine, he believed in her, the strong woman inside of her. The woman that had made all those hard choices in her life.

He liked watching her sleep, her lips slightly parted, her beautiful hair framing her face. So peaceful and beautiful.

Until her eyes fluttered open. “You’re watching me.” She said quietly. “Yeah.” He answered, no use in denying what he was doing if he was enjoying it.

“Why?” She asked just as quietly as she stretched her legs alongside of him a little bit, she was still in his arms, looking up at him. “Cause you’re beautiful to look at.” He smiled softly at her. “Oh.” Sarah’s face went blank, she didn’t know what to say to that. It had been ages since she was called that, her boys saying she was pretty when they were younger was different.

“What?” Richie asked confused at her reaction. “Nothing, I’m going back to sleep.” She moved uncomfortable in Richie’s arm, trying to turn around but he wouldn’t let her go, so she just closed her eyes again.

Richie continued watching her, even though she had a worried look on her face now, his arm still around her, he softly stroked her back.

“Stop watching me.” Sarah said, eyes still closed, she could feel his eyes on her, it was making her uncomfortable.

Richie sighed and turned to look up above him, the ceiling was second choice to stare at.



When he woke again, Sarah’s head was resting on his shoulder. His arm was wrapped around her, his hand resting on her hip, while Sarah’s hand rested on his chest. Her leg pulled high up over his groin. He must have dozed off again but waking with her all curled around him wasn't a bad thing.

Bright sunlight now tried to shine in to the room, regardless of the curtains, it was pretty bright in the room.

“Sarah?” He tried to wake her softly. “Sarah wake up.”

Sarah heard his voice and opened her eyes. She immediately knew where she was and what she was doing. Realizing where her leg was, she was sure she could feel something under her leg. She jerked up to sit next to him. For a second she watched him, then jumped from the bed and ran in to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Richie was surprised and confused, did he do something? Was that something that he might have done a bad thing?



When she didn’t return after more than a few minutes, Richie got up from the bed and knocked on the bathroom door. “Sarah, are you alright?” He wasn’t sure what to think of her abrupt leaving.

“Don’t you need to leave before they find out or something?” Came the answer from the other side of the locked door.

Richie sighed, he knew what that meant, he wasn’t stupid.

He turned around again, picked up his shirt from the floor next to the bed and put it back on, along with his socks and shoes.

He softly closed the door behind him and went downstairs.

For the first time in his whole stay he had breakfast by himself, almost every day he had breakfast with Sarah, now he sat alone.



Afterward he went back to his room, he didn't want to be around people now. He couldn’t stop thinking why Sarah had ran away from him but the little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him it was nothing and that she needed time to progress what happened in the last few days. He knew they had been pretty close, sleeping together, that was probably difficult for her.

He knew that voice was probably right but he couldn’t stop wondering why. She had asked him to stay the night, she was sure that she wanted him to. Yet now, she wasn’t.

Had he done something? Should he have gone to his room and not spent the night?

He simply wasn’t sure what to think.

He liked her, he was sure of that. She was beautiful, he was sure of that too. He really didn’t want her to go, he was sure of that too. But was he able to keep it slow?

On tour he could probably get whichever girl he picked out or two, maybe even three. He shook his head in thought. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted the stability of a relationship, someone to share with, not someone to trade for the next.

He had to wait, he knew it would be hard but he didn’t want to lose Sarah, he could see the strong woman inside her that she was hiding from the world.

Maybe she needed him too, to pull her out of that shell she was hiding in and away from the walls she protected herself with.

If Sarah did need him or want him, he was going to let her make it clear to him, it would be her decision.

Richie remembered that day in group therapy last week when Sarah had said she wanted a relationship with him but now she said she was scared of the real world, did that mean having a relationship too?

He was going to let it up to her. If she really wanted that relationship with him, she’d have to prove it to him.

He sighed, there was only one way to get all those thought from his mind, he picked up his guitar, strumming the strings with a pick, another thought popped in to his mind.



Sarah was overwhelmed with feelings. She was scared, it was too much, maybe it was just going too fast for her. It struck her when he was in her bed that morning, when she was really awake, shirtless even and, was he aroused? Was that what she had felt?

She thought she could do it but it was too close, too soon, too fast. She still wanted that relationship with him but it was going too fast right now, she hoped Richie knew that too.

Maybe it was good she was going home in an hour, some time away. Time to think about it all, to figure everything out.

She hadn’t gone back to real life yet and already it was getting too much.



An hour later she stood in the lobby, her bag by her side, she was going home.

A few people had gathered in the lobby with her. After saying goodbye to everyone, there was only one more person to say goodbye to. Now that she was close to saying goodbye, she realized she didn’t want to but that realization scared her too.

When she turned to Richie, he took her hands and pulled her away from everyone. “I got something for you.” He reached into his jeans pocket and retrieved a guitar string with his pick on. “Turn around.” He ordered.

Sarah did as she was asked. She could feel Richie gather her hair and put it over her right shoulder. He reached the string over her head, letting the pick sit in front, he tied the strings in the back of her neck. When he was sure it was secured, he put her hair back and turned her around again.

She looked down at the pick, it was similar to the one he already gave her. “Thank you.” She said, she liked it, it was very sweet of him to do. It was a great way to remember him and keep him close.

“You’re welcome, it’s just in case, in case of what you decide.” He said. “What do you mean?” Sarah asked confused.

Richie took a deep breath, now was the time. “I know it might have gone a bit fast for you and I’m giving you the decision now. If you want to see where this roller coaster ride will go, all of it, the ups, the downs, and certainly the loops. If you want to give all this a chance without running away but talking instead, be here on Thursday when I leave.”



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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Chapter 22

In the morning Sarah and Richie met in the kitchen, sitting at their usual seats.

Today was Saturday so no therapies and Sarah’s last day at the center. It was hard to believe that day had come so fast, now they had to say goodbye and neither of them wanted to.

“How did you sleep?” Richie asked, keeping their conversation casual like nothing had happened. “Good,” Sarah answered, “until 5.”

“What happened?” Richie asked even though he knew, he’d like to hear it from her. “I don’t know,” she shrugged, “it just got very cold in my bed.” “That’s weird.” He said, feigning deep thought. “I missed you.” Sarah said quietly so nobody but Richie could hear her.

It had taken her at least an hour to get comfortable in her bed after Richie had left but she hadn’t been able to fall asleep again. She had liked having Richie that close, even when she slept.

“I missed you too.”

After breakfast they did the washing up so the rest of the group didn’t have to. Richie intended to spend every minute of today with Sarah.

They both hoped to keep their relationship going after next week, but who knew what would happen once they went back to their real lives. So many things had changed now.

Once the kitchen was neat and tidy, they went to the living room. Even thought it was a small rehab center with not much patients the living room was full except for one couch. Richie and Sarah sat down together. It was the reason Richie had picked this place, it was small and private, and there would be less chances that anyone recognized him, except for Megane then.

He looked around the room for her but didn’t see her, instead he paid attention to the tv. It wasn’t very interesting, someone had turned on the discovery channel again, but it was passing his time and most important he got to spend his time with Sarah.

Unlike Richie, Sarah liked the discovery channel; at home she would watch it too, at least that way her time was sort of spent useful. Not anymore though, as soon as possible she’d go out and find a job, while she was still confident to do it.

After a while she noticed Richie was getting bored of the documentaries. She rubbed his arm. “Do you want to go outside?” She asked, looking up at him. “Yes, that would be great.” They’d be alone and private, he always liked that idea.

They got up and walked past the bookcases, to the sitting area.

“Richie!” They heard behind them. Richie turned around to see who it was. He couldn’t believe it, not her again. “What?” He answered more than a bit rudely. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have done that yesterday.” He was surprised she was apologizing but if she was truly sorry, it would make his last few days a lot easier. “It’s alright.” He said, he knew how fans aceted.

“I really am sorry.” Megane looked over at Sarah, then back at Richie. “I”ll let you be now.” Megane turned around and walked away.

Richie still thought it was strange, fans usually didn’t apologize, maybe Tina talked to her about it.

They continued their walk outside to the bench they always sat on. When they sat, they kissed shortly.

Richie stretched out on the bench, his legs stretched in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He leaned back in his seat and held his arm open for Sarah to sit with him.

Sarah moved closer, ducking under his arm, she rested her head on his shoulder and he closed his arm around her.

Once again they had perfect peace. Together at their bench with a beautiful view of the pond and the garden, it was completely quiet except for the chirping of the birds and rustling of leafs.

They were oblivious to time while they talked, mostly about the future and the past, leaving the present unspoken. It was easier to not think of what happened tomorrow and the next week.

They had now and now was very nice.

Soon enough it was lunch and they went back inside, just like earlier they sat together. Some people congratulated Sarah on finishing her stay and telling her how much improvement they noticed in her. She felt proud when she heard all the compliments.



It was the same way their evening went.

After dinner they all gathered in the living room. She received more compliments, now even from nurses and therapists. Sarah was proud of her improvement; she was at a party right now and felt perfectly fine with everyone around her.

Even the few new people, including Megane congratulated her. She hadn’t often felt this proud of herself in her life. It was a great feeling and she hoped she could keep feeling it after tomorrow.

As the evening past, people started to stay goodnight.

When half the people had left, Tina appeared in the living room. She had taken a liking to Sarah and Richie and for once she left her desk. “You’ve done so well.” Tina hugged Sarah. “Work on that relationship, you don’t want to lose him.” Tina said so only Sarah could hear.

Sarah nodded, she knew she would. She had trusted Richie with so much, she didn’t want to leave that behind at the center.

When Tina was about to leave again, Richie followed her. “Thanks for talking to Megane.” He was sure Tina had and that Megane would keep her distance now, she hadn’t said a thing to him all night.

“What? I didn’t talk to her.” Tina told him. “Oh.” Richie was surprised. “She apologized earlier.” He explained.

“Ah some good sense in her anyway.” Tina said. “I guess you and Sarah worked things out yesterday then?” She too had heard what happened after Megane tried to play the poor rejected girl. Too bad for her most of the people here were double her age and saw it differently than her.

“Eumh, yeah we did.” Had she seen him? Or seen him sneak in and out of Sarah’s room? “I see everything Richie.” Tina said with a smile. “Do you ever sleep?” Richie wondered. “We have cameras.” Tina pointed them out on the ceiling.

How could he not have noticed that in these three weeks, he thought while looking where Tina pointed? “Maybe there will be some technical difficulties tonight and tomorrow morning.” Tina said as she walked away.

Richie smiled, did she just give him permission to sneak in to Sarah’s room?

When he returned to the main rooms, more people had left, he checked his watch, 10.07pm, usually they did something fun on Saturday nights, today that was replaced by Sarah’s goodbye party.

But Richie didn’t want to say goodbye to her, he hoped he had made that clear to her.

Soon enough it was only him and Sarah sitting on a couch, just like the rest of the day, they didn’t say much, they both felt the same sadness.

Sarah lied on his shoulder just like when they were sitting outside. She felt herself getting tired and her eyes got heavier.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Sarah snapped awake at the sound of his voice, not realizing she was dozing off already. She sat up and rubbed her eyes with her hands. “I guess so.” Sarah said, adding a yawn to it.

Richie stood up and reached out a hand to help her stand. He gave her a hug before moving his hand to the small of her back and guided her to her bedroom, not stopping when he turned to the ladies wing of the upstairs hallways.

Richie opened her door and followed her inside, closing the door behind them.

“Are you staying the night again?” Sarah asked sleepily as she sat on the bed. “If you want me to.” He hoped she did, after last night he knew he would never sleep as well without her as he had with her.

“Of course I want you to. I haven’t slept that wall as last night in years.” Sarah said honestly. After Richie had left in the morning she had been unable to get back to sleep.

“Okay.” Richie took off his shoes and socks while Sarah went to change in the bathroom.

Just as she walked back in to her room Richie was taking his shirt off. Last night she had averted her eyes in the darkness when he took his shirt off but tonight she watched him. The room was dimly lit by a table light at the side of her bed so it was still hard to see.

Which was okay, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him half naked yet.

They got in bed together like the night before; Richie lied behind Sarah and wrapped his arm around her.

He didn’t want it to be her last night. He liked sleeping with a beautiful woman; he didn’t want it to be the last time.

Sarah had mixed feeling about leaving; she was scared of what would happen after she left. She had been in a protected environment for a month. The real world would be a lot harder. Did she really have the courage to go out and look for a job? Did she have to courage to have a relationship? It wouldn’t be the same as it was here. Was she really ready for it all?

Then again, here she was in bed with the beautiful man that had changed her stay. Before she had talked to him she mostly hid away in her room. The man with whom she hoped to have a relationship. The one she had to trust with her feelings. The one she should confide in.

“Richie?” She asked softly. “Hmmm.” Came his sleepy answer. “I’m scared.” She said just as softly.

That woke him up. “What?” He watched Sarah turn around to face him in the dark. “Why?” He asked.

Sarah felt a bit silly, she had been so confident until it came to it. “About leaving, facing the real world. Everything will be so much more difficult than it was here. I don’t know if I can do it.”

He couldn’t deny that, it would be more difficult. “It will but you know how to handle it, you’ve practiced conversations and stuff.” He tried to encourage. “I know, but it’ll be different.” Sarah said sadly followed by a yawn.

“Come here.” He pulled her closer in to a hug and kissed her softly. “Don’t worry. You’re tired; tomorrow you’ll feel better about it. You need some sleep.”

Richie hugged her close and waited for her to fall asleep before he allowed himself to go to dreamland.



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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Chapter 21

They watched the minutes pass by on the alarm clock on Sarah’s night stand. They had missed dinner but they didn’t feel like eating anyway.

After an afternoon that rough they just needed to be together now.

Surprisingly nobody had come to look for them. The rest of the group was probably busy with the new residents.

They hadn’t moved at all for an hour until Richie couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to go the bathroom. He let go of Sarah’s hand and reassured her he’d be right back.

When he got back Sarah had moved to lie down on top of the covers of her bed. It wasn’t that late yet but she really wanted to sleep now.

“If you’re sleepy, I could go.” Richie suggested, if she wanted to sleep, he wouldn’t bother her. “No, come lie with me.” She said.

“Are you sure?” He asked, walking over to the bed. “Don’t you want to get under the covers?” He asked his next question. “Not yet, I’m not that sleepy.” Sarah said.

Richie got on the bed behind her, sitting up against the head board. Sarah turned around and sat up too so she could sit with him. Her head rested on his shoulder while her hand rested on his chest.

He gently stroked her back, enjoying the closeness they were sharing.

They sat in silence enjoying each other and the relaxing feeling. It was nice to hold each other with the comfort of a bed.

After an hour of staying in Richie’s comfortable arms Sarah started getting even more tired. Richie noticed her eyes drifting closed. “Do you want to go to sleep? I’ll let you be?” He offered; not loosening his grip just yet. “I do want to sleep, but will you stay with me?” Sarah asked as she sat up next to him.

Richie thought about it, what would happen if they didn’t find him in his room the next morning? Opposite sexes weren’t allowed in bedrooms but he already was and he didn’t care about the consequences right now, he liked holding Sarah, that was all that really mattered. “Of course sweetie.” He said.

Glad that he’d stay, Sarah got up and went to the bathroom. She liked having him in her room despite of what happened earlier. She understood it now; it just came with being a rock star.

A few minutes later she returned in yoga pants and a t-shirt. Richie liked that, better than pajamas.

“Don’t you want to get a little more comfy?” Sarah asked. Richie was still fully dressed and wearing his shoes. “Are you sure?” He needed her to be sure about it, without his clothes and in a bed, they’d be a lot closer than they had been before.

“Yes, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Sarah said, thinking he wouldn’t exactly get naked either but sleeping in his jeans couldn’t be comfy, she’d be ok if he was just wearing his underwear. It didn’t mean they’d do anything, she was sure Richie knew that too.

Richie started taking off his shoes, his socks followed immediately after. He put them down on the floor next to him.

Sarah looked up from rearranging the pillows on her bed, she was actually going to sleep with him, really sleep. “You’re comfy enough like that?” Sarah didn’t believe he would be. It was pretty dark in the room, the only light that came in was the light of the street through the curtain but she could see he was still wearing all his clothes.

“Actually,” he started taking off his shirt, “now I’m comfy.” He knew he’d be more comfy without jeans but he wasn’t sure if he could control himself without it and knew that he wouldn’t be ok with that.

Sarah got in bed and felt Richie get in behind her. She moved back until she was against his hard chest.

Richie wrapped an arm around her, pulling her even closer against him. A feeling of happiness and acceptance rushed through him when Sarah put her arm on top of his and intertwined their fingers. “Good night.” He whispered, adding a kiss to her shoulder. “Night.” Richie thought he couldn’t possibly be any happier, Sarah in his arms, nothing could be better than that.



Hours later Richie woke up with a start. Momentarily he doubted where he was, that he had dreamt it all until Sarah’s sleepy voice asked what was wrong.

He looked over at the alarm clock, “It’s 5am.” He said almost in panic. “Then why are you up?” Sarah asked sleepily, not moving from the position she was sleeping in.

“What if they find out?” He knew he wasn’t allowed in here and if they kicked him out or something? He told Sarah about his worry.

“Maybe you’re right,” she turned around to face him, “but you can’t leave without a kiss good night.” They shared a deep, long kiss before Richie got up, put his shirt back on and took his shoes in his left hand.

He walked around the bed and pulled the sheets back up to her shoulders. He didn’t want her to get up, she was clearly tired and didn’t want to wake her even more.

“Good night.” He whispered when he was at the door and carefully closed it when he was out in the hall.

Outside her room Richie noticed small spotlights in the floor along the wall that guided him to his room.

Back in his room he dropped his shoes by the door. He dropped his t-shirt on top of them and unfastened his jeans in the bathroom, using the toilet before kicking them off entirely and got in to his bed.

After a few minutes of lying awake alone, he realized he missed Sarah. Her warmth against him, in his arms, so close that he could smell her hair just felt so much better than sleeping alone. His bed was cold and lonely, he wasn’t sure he could get back to sleep now but closed his eyes anyway.

It was only 5, he didn’t have to get up until 8, which was an ungodly hour while he was on tour but now he was used to it. He hoped to fall asleep again; there was nothing worse than lying awake for hours.


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