Chapter 25

Monday morning Richie was glad his schedule was full. Group therapy was in the morning as it always was and in the afternoon he had two private sessions of two hours. He’d be busy all day until about 5pm.

That way he couldn’t think of Sarah, he thought. Usually he liked thinking of her, it made him happy but now it made him worry and he didn’t want to do that. He couldn’t spent his last three days worrying about something that wasn’t in his hands anymore, he gave away that option. Now it was time for Sarah to make a decision. She knew what he felt and wanted, it was up to her if she’d take the chance with him to feel the same.

There he was thinking about it all again. He tried to finish his breakfast without another thought and went off to group therapy.

Four new people had arrived during the last week and weekend, bringing the total of patients back to twenty-three. During the entire time of his stay, there hadn’t been more than twenty-five people, including him.

Now he didn’t know anybody, he knew some faces, but not the people behind them. All of his friends had left during the last few weeks.

Carl was first to go after Richie had been there for a week. That was alright, he still had Fred but he left the week after that. He had enjoyed teaching Jerry some guitar when they had time but he had missed his goodbye party last Friday while trying to fix what he had with Sarah. Yesterday morning Sarah had left, so he ran out of people he knew.

Then Megane popped into his mind. He knew her but did he like her? Last night she seemed like a nice person, talking to him and trying to convince him that everything would be alright. Only a few days ago her actions were completely different. Megane had apologized for what she did so he knew he had to let that go but what if she tried something again?

Why would she convince him everything would be alright with Sarah if she had other intentions? That didn’t make sense.

He had to stop thinking, about everything. His mind just went back to Sarah every time and he had group therapy to concentrate on. His mind was driving him crazy. He tried to clear it again and focused.

Hours later, after dinner he lied in his favorite sun bed on the terrace with his guitar on his chest. The position he was in reminded him of the day they wrote Memory. How Jon had lied almost upside down on the couch, with his feet over the back, hardly able to play any notes but it had worked out perfectly, they created a beautiful song and in the end what did it matter how they did it. Or even where, for their last album they had even recorded some songs in his bathroom cause they liked the acoustics of it.

He missed Jon and the rest of the band and crew. He wanted to be on stage, to feel that high of performing for thousands of people. He had been here long enough, he thought, he wanted to get back to his life. The last American leg of the tour was over by now but he was antsy to get to Europe, to show his millions of fans that he was fine and still rocking.

He knew they would worry about him even they didn’t know him, he was their idol and they loved him. After he left rehab last time, he dedicated a song to his fan at every concert.

Richie spent the rest of his evening outside, playing his guitar. As always it made him happy, feel relaxed and finally made him stop thinking. Only a month ago he was drinking alcohol to feel all those things, now he couldn’t shut up his mind unless he was playing guitar or when he was with Sarah.

What if he got addicted to his guitar, would people complain about that too? Who was he kidding he had been addicted to his guitar for almost forty years, he had just forgotten, he should indulge in it again.



Tuesday went much the same for him. During breakfast he talked to Megane, she was the only person he knew, sort of and he didn’t want to make new friends if he was leaving in two days anyway. He talked to people but nothing more than small talk. The whole conversation Megane was polite and didn’t say anything about his life as a celebrity or rock star. He was quite happy with her change. Now she seemed like a nice girl, not like a groupie.

Richie’s schedule was the same as the day before and after lunch he was off to his first private therapy. It was nice to reflect on the progress he had made during his stay. He had hardly though of any alcohol in the last four weeks, except Sunday evening, but now it was out of reach so he couldn’t even drink when he wanted to.

Next week would be different, the week after even more. Sarah was right; outside the center things would be so much different and a lot more difficult.

Especially with his life, anyone’s life for that matter, if what you had to stay away from was so close to you every day, it was hard to stay away.

He could party without alcohol, he knew that, but it would be hard if everyone else was not. He knew they wouldn’t do it to tempt him. The first week they probably wouldn’t even drink around him but even that would change. It was just him that couldn’t, so why should the rest not? They didn’t have a problem so he didn’t feel like he could take that away from them.

It wouldn’t be easy but he knew he could do it if he stayed positive, just like he had been for the last four weeks. Positivity worked, he knew that and learned it many times throughout his life. He had come this far to the end of the first step. He knew the second step would be a lot harder.

The end was in sight.


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