Chapter 4

He caught himself staring at her again but he couldn’t turn his eyes away as he looked at her lips. He started to wonder what it would feel like to kiss them when she looked up at him. He looked up and looked her in the eyes.

She smiled sweetly, she couldn’t blame him, she had been staring at him too, now she just felt his eyes on her. “So,” She said uncomfortable now and not knowing how to go on. “it’s nice here.” Richie chuckled at seeing her a little uncomfortable. “Yeah it is. Too bad we’re too busy with therapy all the time.” He joked. Sarah chuckled; he’d only been to one of his therapies out of three so far. She knew he’d have to go tomorrow, it wasn’t high school and she shouldn’t stop him from going.

Richie couldn’t even believe she was here, she had the looks, more than that and she probably had the brains too. Then again, he himself had everything he could want, well almost. He repressed his question of how she got here and stayed quiet. The centre didn’t only help people with alcohol addiction so he couldn’t just assume she had the same problem. He decided on another question, something she might feel more comfortable to talk about. “What are your son’s names?” He knew he felt better when he could talk about his daughter, it made him instantly proud, maybe it was the same for her.

She looked up at him again and Richie smiled. “Caleb and Noah.” She answered him. “What’s your daughter’s name?”

There was that proud feeling. “Ava.” He smiled, quickly thinking of his next question. “So are they staying with their dad now?” Sarah looked away from him and shook her head. “No, they’re with my mum.” Richie felt relieved with that, no husband then. He could keep staring at her then, as if he could tear his eyes away from her if she did have a husband, no, he’d still be staring. How couldn’t he, she was beautiful. He asked her a few more questions about her kids, finding out their ages, 15 and 16, what they did in school and he told her about Ava too. They never got to the question of what either of them was doing in a rehab centre but that was fine, Sarah looked more comfortable while talking and he felt happy with that. Before they knew it two hours had passed and everyone else had left group therapy, going to lunch. They were still sitting by the pond.

“Hey, what are you two doing there?” They both turned to look where the sound came from. Again Richie felt like a little kid being caught, Tina walked towards them.

“You weren’t in therapy.” Tina said to Richie when she stood next to the bench. “I know.” He wanted to defend himself but he came up with the truth. “Sarah wanted to show me around here.” Tina’s face relaxed and she smiled at Sarah. Out of the corner of his eye Richie could see Sarah bite her lower lip, trying to smile, she seemed so unsure of what to do. Tina turned back to Richie. “Be there tomorrow and make sure you go to your sessions this afternoon.” She said sternly. “I will.” He promised but why did she only tell him to go and not Sarah? Tina told them lunch was going to be served in a few minutes and suggested them to go inside. Richie felt like he was in school again, make sure to go to class, be in the lunch room during lunch. Stay positive he reminded himself.

During lunch Sarah sat at the other end of the table. Richie wanted to think she was trying to get away from him but tried not to. During lunch he talked with Fred and Carl and listened to them talking about group therapy. He might as well get a heads up before going tomorrow. There wasn’t a dance at the end and the group hug was optional. He was sort of relieved; he could survive an optional group hug.


The rest of the afternoon he spent by listening to a short lecture of Tina, telling him how important group therapy was and that he should attend every one of them. He nodded agreeing with everything she told him. After listening to Tina he went to his afternoon private therapies, spending most of the afternoon there. Talking about his life and addiction. Afterwards he actually felt a little better. Positivity.

The tv was on in the living room and he decided to join and see what was on tv. Apparently channels that broadcasted any type of news were disabled. They really had no contact with the outside world. Who knows what could happen out there and none of them would have known. He didn’t like that idea but at least no one at the centre would find out he was who he was. No one had seemed to recognize him and he didn’t want to go into it either, there was no use for it any way.

He looked around the room and noticed Sarah wasn’t to be seen anywhere. He turned to Fred that was sitting next to him. “Where did Sarah go?”

Fred looked up and looked around the room too, then shrugged. “She’ll be here somewhere. Maybe she went to bed early.”

Richie checked his watch, 7.30pm. That’s very early to go to bed. 7.30, the rest of the band would be on stage right now in New Orleans. He was missing it; he didn’t want to miss it. Being on stage was an amazing feeling, he wanted to be there. He wondered how that replacement they found was doing. Hopefully not screwing up his songs.

Fred nudged him, Richie looked at him confused. “What are you thinking about?” Richie felt a little annoyed; every time he was lost in thought someone asked him what he was thinking. Fred kept looking at him, wanting for an answer. “A concert.” Richie answered him. “We’re you going to a concert today?” Richie smiled to himself, yeah that would work well enough. “Yeah, some band I like.” Fred nodded, and then asked: “Bon Jovi?” Richie’s smile disappeared. “No, another band…” He couldn’t think of another band. He had worked with so many and loved so many and the only band he could think of was The Beatles, and that wouldn’t exactly work. “No worries,” Fred said, “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

Richie sighed, he hadn’t expected to be recognized, especially not here. “Really?” “I’d be a bad friend if I did.” Fred said. Friend? Were they friends?


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Chapter 3

In the afternoon Richie went to his therapies, he answered the questions that were asked, explained his feelings and tried to figure out why he drank so much, but he already knew why. He thought it was an easy reason, he was lonely, alcohol made him forget that. He couldn’t solve that problem without finding someone he could love.



During dinner he found Sarah again at the table and took the seat next to her. “So do we skip group therapy again tomorrow?” He whispered, not noticing the little jump she made and how she shifted away in her seat.
Sarah tried to laugh. “You sound like were in high school.” She remembered the times she would skip classes back then too. She'd go to the beach or hang out around the mall with her friends.

“I didn’t go to class all the time then either.” Richie said. “Aha, though guy huh? What should we do instead of group therapy then?” Why did she say that? She didn't want to go and do something with him. She couldn't take it back anymore either.

“We can explore the grounds.” He hadn’t been outside yet and actually wondered what was out there to see.

She liked the idea, the premises was very big, it was a nice piece of nature and she could stay further away from him. “Good, but after breakfast, I need coffee in the morning first. I’ll show you around afterwards.” Did she just say she would show him around? Why?



The next morning Richie didn’t bother to hurry up and get ready, he had already decided not to go to group therapy, he wasn't into group hugs with strangers, he thought about that for a second. Fans were strangers, but that was totally different he decided.

His guitar was staring at him when he came out of the shower, it needed to be played and he knew it. He picked up the guitar and sat down on his bed and laid it across his lap. Placing his fingers on the frets, thanks to the calluses on his finger tips he couldn’t feel the strings as he pressed them down and stroked his thumb down over the strings. The musical sound that came out could be improved he thought. Laying the guitar down on his lap, he reached over to his guitar bag and got a guitar pick out and made the same sound again. Better.

When he was sure everybody would be gone to the group therapy session he put his guitar into its case and went downstairs.

As he had thought, there was nobody downstairs. He knew he shouldn’t go to the office, they’d notice him and Tina would get angry this time. Looking around the open space there was nobody else and no sign of Sarah either, she must still be in the kitchen.

He made his way to the kitchen; walked inside and saw nobody. Yesterday Sarah was cooking but there was nobody at the stove and nobody sitting at the table. The room was empty.

He’d hoped she would be here, he really wanted to be alone with her again, her to show him around the grounds. The night before he had been looking forward to it but now she wasn’t there.

It was almost 10, he decided to make breakfast any way, and maybe she would still show up. There was some bread left on the counter by the 4 piece toaster. He put a slice of bread in every space and turned on the toaster. Opening the fridge, he leaned into it, looking what was in there. After having a mental debate to have orange juice or milk, he closed the fridge and turned on the coffee machine instead.

The toast popped, he turned around and looked around for peanut butter in the cupboard above it.

When he finished his toast and was about to turn around to get the coffee Sarah walked into the kitchen. “There you are. I thought you weren’t going to show.” Richie said, happy to finally see her. She looked great, even though she wasn’t wearing anything special, it was all her.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Sarah smiled, it was exactly what she had done. “I overslept.” She spent the whole night wondering what skipping therapy with him meant. It was typical for her, always over thinking everything a guy did. What did it mean that he wanted to explore the grounds with her? What would happen if they went outside? Then she'd get scared. “Aren’t you making eggs for me?” She couldn't believe why she kept asking questions like that.

“Not if you love your life.” Richie joked, he was a horrible cook. “I can share my toast though.” He said, holding out a slice of toasted bread for her.

Sarah carefully took the slice he was holding and sat down a few chairs away from him, eating the toast. He shared his food with her, now what did that mean?



A little while later they did the few dishes there were and put everything away. “Ready to go?” Richie asked when he threw the dish towel on the counter; he was eager to go out, he’d been inside for two days and wanted to smell the fresh air and feel the wind. It was spring after all.

Sarah looked around, thinking of something she had to do before but couldn’t think of anything. “I guess so.” She said, not sure why it sounded like she didn’t want to. “Are you sure you want to go?” Richie asked her, it seemed like she wanted a way out. “Cause you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can go sit in my room.” He shrugged at the last he said.

“No, come on, let’s go.” Sarah said as she quickly walked out of the kitchen, looking over her shoulder to see if he was following her. Now she had no choice but show him around, she really had to stop doing that.

They walked through the open space behind the office to the glass wall. Sarah found the door and carefully opened it without making a sound.

She started walking and Richie caught up with her, walking next to her. He looked out over the premises. “I didn’t think it would be this big.” He said as he saw the pond, with a few benches surrounded by trees. It almost looked like a park.

“They’re just missing horse stables.” Sarah joked as she continued to walk towards the pond. Horse stables? She thought to herself, stupid! Richie chuckled at her joke. It was a lovely day out, the sun was shining and a light breeze of wind swept up. It was great being outside.

They sat down on a bench by the pond, looking over the water. Not knowing what to say, they sat quietly.

They both sneaked glances at each other every few minutes while neither noticed the other. The silence they were in was quiet but not too uncomfortable and they weren’t sure if they should break it or just enjoy the peacefulness of the view they had.


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