Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Chapter 20

“Sarah?” She heard on the other side of the door. Why wouldn’t that nurse go away? She didn’t want to talk, was that so difficult to understand? Trying to ignore it, she clutched her pillow closer.

“Sarah, please?” But that wasn’t a nurse unless they started hiring male nurses now. She knew that voice.

“Can you please let me in before they see me and send me away.” What would happen when she let him in? It’s not like there was much to explain, it was pretty obvious.

Trust him. That little voice in the back of her mind said once again, she’d been ignoring it since she turned around in the living room. Maybe she just should.

“Come in.” She whispered, loud enough for him to still hear it.

He quickly opened the door and leaned back against it with a big sigh of relief when he closed it. Finally he could explain that it was nothing, just a misunderstanding.

Richie pushed himself off the door and walked over to Sarah but saw how she clutched her pillow closer and moved away on her bed. He took a step back, looking around her room; he saw her desk and pulled out the chair to sit on. He wanted to sit next to her but she obviously didn’t want that. Had she lost trust in him that fast? Richie turned around his chair and sat down, leaning forward towards her with his arms resting on his legs.

“Sarah.” He said her name for the so manieth time that evening. “Are you going to tell me it’s not what it looked like?” Sarah asked before he could say anything more than her name. “Yes.” Richie said. “Because it wasn’t what it looked like.” He sighed when she shook her head in disbelief.

“You know what I do. My job has some downsides. It happens that girls do that.” He tried to explain. He couldn’t deny it, it happened, not as much as it used to but it still happened.

“Why didn’t you tell her to go away then?” Sarah asked, still not believing him. “I did but then she followed me to the living room and she wouldn’t listen.” Richie explained.

Sarah relaxed a little maybe he was right. People idolized him, people fantasize and some people grab opportunities, literally.

“It happens.” He repeated. “You don’t like her?” Richie laughed. “No, I told you, I like you.” He understood it wasn’t easy for any woman to see that, especially for Sarah, but she was the only one he was interested in.

He got up from his chair and sat down next to her on the bed, this time Sarah didn’t move away from him. “I’d never do that to you.” Gently he stoked her back, trying to comfort her.

Sarah sat up and moved to sit next to him, putting her pillow back where it belonged at the head of her bed. “I’m sorry, I should have trusted you.” She took his hand and held it tightly.

“You have to trust me Sarah, because it will happen again.” He wouldn’t like it but it always happened. “So you have to trust that I like you and only you and I would never do that to you.”

She knew she had to trust him and it was part of his job. Every relationship is built on trust; she had to trust him to be able to have a relationship. And she really wanted a relationship with him. It almost scared her that she did, she hadn’t had any man get that close to her in 10 years, and she just had to trust that he’d be there for her and only her.

Sarah looked up at him to see him looking back at her. She had to trust him.

No man had ever been so caring, sweet and gentle with her, at least not in the last 20 years.

That he was handsome and beautiful were a definite plus to the package.

How could she risk losing what she had? For two weeks she had trusted him, why stop now? They have a good thing going.

“I trust you.” She reached up as he bent down, they kissed gently. Then, with that kiss she really knew to trust him.

“At least it wasn’t a guy.” Sarah joked after neither of them had said anything in half an hour.

Richie chuckled. “Luckily those don’t happen as much but even if it was a really hot guy, I’d still only want you.”

He wanted her, Sarah just hoped that the way he had her now was enough for now. The rest, she wasn’t sure about yet. They’d only known each other for a few weeks, it was important to work on their emotional relationship first before working on the physical part of it. Hopefully Richie understood that too.



Go to the next chapter

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Chapter 19

“Sarah!” Richie called after her. He got up and didn’t look back at Megane. He didn’t care if he had hurt her or not, if he had, it was her own fault for the way she had acted but he didn’t care.

He tried to catch up with her but Sarah was already headed for the stairs. He was sure she was going to her room, what else would she go upstairs for.

Her room was the one place where he couldn’t run after her. He had to reach her before she got to the top of the stairs and hide away, which he thought she shouldn’t do. They needed to talk not run and hide.

“Sarah please wait!” But she didn’t and started walking up the stairs. She didn’t even look back at him, Sarah kept on going and Richie watched her go.

She was just out of arm’s reach to grab her arm, shoulder or whatever body part before he watched her turn to the corridor he wasn’t allowed to go.

Richie sighed and saw her open a door and disappeared.



He sat down at the top of the stairs. Lifting his arms, letting his elbows dig into his legs as he buried his face in his hands. “Fuck.” He swore.

All kinds of whys started running through his mind. Why did Megane do that? Why didn’t he run faster? Why didn’t Sarah stop to listen to him? Why?

He should have told Megane the first time she got too close to fuck off. Instead of thinking he’d hurt her feelings that way. But then she wouldn’t have practically been on his lap. If he had told her, Sarah wouldn’t have seen it because there wouldn’t be anything that happened.

How could he do that to Sarah? He knew it was nothing but he was sure it would have looked different to her.

Just when she started to trust him, he had to screw it up. Now she’d think he’d just cheat on her whenever he could or wanted to and they weren’t even together.

He liked her, Sarah was the only woman he wanted to be around.

His neck and shoulder started to hurt from sitting in the position he was. He looked up and stretched his neck and rolled his shoulder to relieve the tension off the muscles.

He liked that he had a perfect overview of the entire place from where he was sitting. When he walked out here every morning it sort of made him feel like king of the mountain.

Now he looked around and didn’t see any nurses. Tina was at her desk but no nurses in sight.



In her room Sarah had her own thoughts going around in her mind. She tried to shake the image of that girl sitting on his lap, her hands all over him but she couldn’t shake it from her mind, it kept coming back.

How could he do that to her? She trusted him. She had told him about her life. He knew what happened in her life, how it would be difficult for her.

She had told him so he knew it would take her a while, the relationship thing, maybe she was just too slow for him.

Sarah knew he would want things, more than just cuddling or kissing, he would want sex.

She wasn’t sure yet if she could give him that, she wasn’t ready for it.

She had thought and believed him when he said he’d wait for her but that girl on his lap would have given him what he wanted and probably more.

Could he forget about her that easily?

He seemed so truthful when he said he liked her and would take their relationship slow for her. Could he lie that convincingly or had he been honest?



Sarah’s thoughts were disrupted by a knock at her door.

Couldn’t those nurses ever leave her alone? She just wanted to be alone, why was that such a bad thing? Just shutting the world out, how was it a bad thing when you were just trying to protect yourself from pain?

If she had done that earlier, she wouldn’t be hurt right now.

“Go away!.” She told the door and scooted down her bed to lie down, pulling one of her pillows from under her head and hugged it close.

She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts and sadness until she could go home where the nurses wouldn’t tell her it would all be ok if she worked hard.

Well she did work hard and see where it had brought her, pain.

At home she’d be away from everything and everyone that could hurt her. Home was safe.



Go to the next chapter

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Chapter 18

chapter is thanks to my lovely friend Sambo's Pixy, the new character is all her fault


Friday afternoon Richie sat in the sitting area by the glass wall that overlooked the garden, he had found a few magazines and was now leafing through them. He’d just left his last therapy of the week and was waiting for Sarah to finish too so they could watch tv or something together.

He was already losing interest in his magazine and picked up another one but his mind wandered off to the conversation he had with Jon on Wednesday, he was sad he had missed it; it seemed like a great evening.

Jon told him that a fan had two dolls that looked just like them and asked to have them during Wanted Dead or Alive. Richie thought it was cute and wished he had been there to see it too.

Jon had told him he was sure it would be on YouTube by the time Richie got home. Richie knew it would be but couldn’t help wondering about it.

He should tell Jon that would be a huge success on their web store but Jon hadn’t been excited about the dolls they had made of him before except for the action figures that were made, those were really cool.

Richie kept his backstage and he had one at home too, unopened, safe in his office.

His thoughts were disrupted when someone sat down next to him on the couch he was sitting on. He knew it wasn’t Sarah and didn’t really want to talk to anyone else so he acted that he was too interesting in the article in the magazine he was holding to notice anything else.

Until he felt a hand on his left arm, he looked at it without moving his head; still acting like he was deep in thought.

The hand had a star tattoo in the same place as his right hand had. He closed his eyes and sighed internally, he hoped it was coincidence.

Richie finally looked up to see the face of the person that had disrupted his thoughts.

The girl looked young, early 20’s, if that. Her hair was dyed an unnatural color of pink.

“You’re Richie Sambora.” She stated, sure of it and not asking. “Am I?” He asked, maybe she just thought she knew him from somewhere, maybe he could distract her. “Yeah. You can’t fool me. I’ve loved you since I was little.” She said excited.

That ruined his idea. “So here’s where you’ve been hiding all month. Poor Richie.” She said sweetly and started stoking his arm, as if she was trying to comfort him.

He moved away from her, turning around in his seat. “I didn’t catch your name.”He said. “Oh I guess I didn’t mention that, my name is Megane.” She smiled at him. “That’s a great name but Megane, I have to go.” Richie got up and walked away before he heard her answer.

He dropped the magazine on the coffee table and went to the desk. He decided he wanted to talk to Tina, he hadn’t in a while. “What’s up? He asked, leaning on the desk like he always did. “I’m working Richie. Why what’s up with you? You seem annoyed.” Tina looked up from her work to look at him.

“I was reading but I noticed we got some new residents.” He didn’t realize how annoyed he sounded until he said it. “Megane?” Tina asked and saw Richie nod. “Yep Megane.”

Tina sighed. “I told her to leave you alone when she recognized you while I was showing her around. I’m sorry.” Tina apologized, now annoyed with Megane’s behavior too. “It’s ok, it’s not your fault.” Richie said. “At least Fred didn’t make it obvious that he knew me.” He liked Fred for that reason and Fred was a nice person.

He really hoped to see him again at a concert.

Richie hung around Tina’s desk, talking about things until Tina really had to go back to work. Richie said goodbye and went to the living room. Sarah couldn’t take much longer now.

Megane wasn’t in the living room and he hoped she wouldn’t show up either.

He switched on the tv, he was alone in the room for now and flipped through a few channels before picking the repeats on Comedy Central. Even though it were repeats its was still funny.

His luck didn’t last when Megane bounced into the room, sitting down next to him, right nect too him, too close to him. She leaned against his arm. “Why did you run off earlier? Don’t you like me?” Richie tried to move away but he was already at the end of the couch. Why didn’t he just tell her to fuck off? “Do you think you could get off of me?” Richie tried to push her off of him.

“Come on Richie; let’s find something more private then.” She moved away a little, but not enough.

At that moment Sarah walked into the room. Richie looked up and saw her standing in the doorway, simply staring at him.

“Sarah.” He tried to get up and push Megane off of him  but she didn’t let him and pulled him back as he watched Sarah’s pained look on her face, she turned around and walked away.

“Get off me!” Richie yelled at Megane and pushed her forcefully off of him, shoving her to the other side of the couch.


Go to the next chapter

Monday, May 21, 2012

Chapter 17


Tuesday evening there were two goodbye parties at the center. Next Saturday would be Sarah’s own party, Sunday morning she would go back home to her real life, she couldn't deny she was a bit scared for it.

Tonight they said goodbye to Fred and Sandy. Richie had been expecting Fred would ask him but was still surprised when he did. He hadn't let on that he was a fan and hadn't bothered Richie about it either, he liked that about Fred.

“I was wondering,” Fred hesitated when he asked, “Since you’re Richie Sambora…” Richie chuckled at Fred’s nervousness; he had been waiting 3 weeks for him to say it. “Do you want an autograph?” He asked, knowing he would ask that. “And a picture?” Fred asked hopeful. “Man, that’s a great idea.” Richie said and walked with Fred to Tina, she never left her desk, not even during parties.

“Do you have a camera?” He asked her, leaning on the high wall around her desk with his arms. “Eumh, yeah somewhere around here.” Tina started opening drawers, looking around her desk and the cupboards on the wall. “Here it is.” She said when she found it on a shelf.

She took a few quick pictures of Fred and Richie together and lowered the camera. “I’ll email them to you both.” She took the memory card out and put it into a special slot on her computer.

“Could you print one?” Richie asked, that way Fred would have even more proof that he met Richie, he thought it was a perfect way. Tina gave him a black marker and the piece of paper with the picture on it. Richie signed his name to it and gave it to Fred.

“Thanks so much.” Fred said happily when Richie handed it to him. “I’d invite you to our next show but it’s in Croatia.” Richie said. “No problem.” Fred said even though Richie saw he was disappointed. He didn't want to disappoint his friend. “But call this number if you find out we’re touring again.” He wrote down his agent’s phone number. “Great.” Fred answered a lot happier.

He'd have to let his agent know so Fred's messages would actually get to him. It wouldn't be the first time a fan would find that number but they never got directed through to him.



The next morning Fred and Sandy went home after breakfast, everyone said their goodbyes and they walked out of the center. Richie looked forward to next week, the day he would leave the center too, back to his real life.



In the afternoon Richie and Sarah met at the pond again. Sarah sat down next to Richie, her arm around his back; he did the same to her.

“How’s your week going?” Sarah asked, looking up at him. “Pretty good, looking forward, I think this time it’ll work.” He really believed it. “How’s yours going?” He asked her in return. “Good, I really think I’m doing better.” Outside of here would be something else, she knew that but still felt hopeful.

“Not nervous anymore?” He asked hopeful. “Not really around you but when I talk to someone I haven’t talked to yet, I do.” She explained but she still felt proud of herself. “That’s normal, it’s a new person.” Richie said. “I’m so proud of you.” He wrapped his other arm around her and hugged her. “You’re doing really well.” He encouraged her.

His encouragement made her feel really good about herself. “We’ve got each other.” Sarah said hopeful, together they could do it. Richie chuckled at what she said. “What’s funny now?” “You’d be such a good Bon Jovi fan sweetheart.” He smiled. “Is it a line in a song too?” Sarah asked although she was already wondering about him calling her sweetheart. She didn’t hear him answer while she was lost in thought. If she was going to be in a relationship with him he’d call her all sorts of endearments. She knew he liked her and she liked him too, so why wouldn’t he call her sweetheart? It was progress in their relationship, she decided and it was a good thing. Maybe it was just a bit strange to hear it for the first time.

“What’s Ava like?” She asked, if they did meet after rehab she was bound to meet his daughter too, so why not get a heads up?

“She’s a real girly girl.” Richie said, thinking of what to say about his Princess. “She’s out with her friends a lot and wants to be an actress like her mum. She loves daddy’s credit card too.” He added with a smile. He didn't mind, he liked giving her the things she wanted as long as she had good grades.

“Her mum’s an actress? Do I know her?” Sarah asked, she might not listen to music but had loads of time for tv while she was at home alone with her mother. “Heather Locklear.”

“Oh.” Sarah said a little surprised. “I never liked her.” Richie laughed; he didn’t like her much anymore either of course she was still his ex and Ava’s mother but nothing more.

“But of course I don’t know her in person, so I can’t judge.” Sarah said quickly when Richie didn’t say anything. “It’s alright.” He said. “So what are Caleb and Noah like?” He asked.

“Well Caleb is 16, trying to impress girls all the time.” It was almost comical at what things he had already tried. “Now he’s learning guitar, before that it was surfing but he kept losing his balance. He really likes his guitar thought; I think he’d even stick to it if it doesn’t impress the girls with it.” When he saw another girl, he’d just pick up an extra hobby she thought.

“What about Noah?” He asked. “He’s pretty much like his brother but he sticks to surfing.” “So surfing and guitar, I like both.” He said.

“You can surf?” Sarah asked surprised. “As good as I can cook.” He joked. “How good is that?” “Badly.” Sarah laughed at his joke.

They sat together by the pond, snuggled together, close and arms around each other.

Richie was glad Sarah finally felt comfortable around him. The next few days new people would arrive at the center. He just hoped she got over her fears and wasn’t frightened to socialize with them, even though she only had four more days.

“How are you feeling about new people moving in?” He asked, he wanted her to be able to talk to him about everything. “Confident, maybe it’s a good practice for next week.” Sarah said. She really thought it was and it was only a few more days. It would be a good thing to meet new people, socialize a little bit before leaving and doing it again.

“I really am proud of you; see how much progress you’ve made.” He smiled and hugged her tightly.



“We should go look for some dinner.” Sarah said, it was close to dinner time and she started to feel hungry. “That sounds like a good idea.” Richie was getting hungry himself.

He unwrapped his arms and stood up, stretched his legs and extended a hand to help her up from the bench.

As so often they walked back hand in hand, his thumb stroking the back of her hand.



Go to the next chapter

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Chapter 16

“So the countdown begins.” Richie said during breakfast on Monday morning. “What do you mean?” Sarah asked more than a little confused. “Six days until you leave, nine until I leave, twenty until I go back to work.” He preferred using the word work instead of tour, just in case. “Right, you’re playing. I hope I find a job quickly.” Sarah sighed. “You…” He almost said she could come with him. “You will find something.”

After the kitchen clean up, everybody moved to the group therapy room again.

Sarah was surprised about what today’s topic would be.

“By a show of hands, who has a job to go back to after your stay?” Their therapist asked. Richie’s hand was one of the few that rose. “Great, you’ll get to help. Today we’ll re-enact a job interview. What do you say? How do you act? Pair up with the person sitting across of you in the circle and sit at one of the tables.” He pointed to the tables by the walls.

For a second Sarah panicked but when everyone got up so did she and walked across the circle.

“Hi, I’m Jerry.” The man introduced himself. “Sarah.” “Nice to meet you Sarah, let’s find a table.”

Once sitting at their table she looked around nervously and found Richie on the other side of the room, she sighed, she’d be fine.

Again the therapist spoke. “Imagine you’re at an interview, what do you think you will be asked?” People started raising hands. “What are your studies?” “Do you have experience?’ “Why this job?” He wrote down all the questions on the white board.

Then he spoke again. “Now ask your partner these questions and decide if you’d hire them.”

Richie already had a job and was sure he wasn't going to lose it any time soon. So he asked his partner the questions.

On the other side of the room Sarah noticed it was hard to answer all the questions Jerry was asking her. They switched roles and asking questions was a lot easier.

“Not so easy is it? That’s why we do this. Now,” he started passing out pens and paper. “write down your educations and write down what you would answer in an interview.”

Sarah started writing, she wanted to write down her studies in college but decided to leave it and move on to writing down the answers she would give.

When they did it again with their answers prepared it went so much better. She knew what to say and felt more confident.



Afterwards she folded the piece of paper up and put in her back pocket. She’d keep it for next week.

Richie waited for her by the door. Maybe she was right about feeling like she was in high school, he used to wait for girls by doors then too.

“Hey, how did it go?” He asked when she walked out. “Pretty good, I’m keeping it for next week.” She padded the back pocket of her jeans where she put the paper. He would love to pad that but took her hand instead as they went to the kitchen.

“What’s on your planning this afternoon?” Sarah asked Richie while they had lunch. “Too much therapies.” He complained, he knew a better way to spend his afternoon. “You’re not alone.” Richie chuckled when she said it. “My week is very full.” Sarah hardly had free time this week. “What’s so funny?” She asked him.

“You’re Not Alone, it’s the title of one of my songs.” He smiled “I might just turn into your biggest fan.” She said proudly. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.” He gave her a quick kiss.



“See you at dinner.” Sarah hugged him a good minute before reaching up and kissing him. “You okay?” He asked a little worried. “Yeah, I just wanted a hug, I like hugs.” She said. “Okay,” he said, reassured, “see you later.”

He let her go and watched Sarah walk into the room they were standing in front. Richie walked down the hall to his own counseling.

There he was again, addiction counseling, when he realized he hadn’t thought of drinking since the first time he spend time with Sarah. He wouldn’t have been able to drink anyway but he didn’t want to either. He didn’t feel lonely which always made him drink and forget, he had Sarah, with her, he would be fine.

Sarah once again felt proud of herself and told her therapist about her morning. How she worked with Jerry while Richie was on the other side of the room. She talked to another man, thought of answers with him and practiced an interview with him.

She hadn’t felt scared, she just did was she had to do and she did it even without Richie right next to her. She was confident, next week, she’d go look for a job. As long as Richie was with her, she would be fine.

Go to the next chapter

Monday, May 14, 2012

Chapter 15

Sunday morning Sarah stepped up to the reception desk to ask Tina a few things. She had something planned for the afternoon and hoped that Tina would allow it so she could go on with it. Sarah had planned it last night, hoping Richie would like it.

Unlike Richie Sarah got her phone calls on Sundays and phoned her sons now that she was there. Tina gave her her phone and Sarah walked over to the same place Richie always sat when he phoned home.

She entered her home number and waited for the ringing tone to turn into a voice.

“Matthews’ house.” She finally heard. “Caleb? Hiya Kid, how are you?” She asked her oldest son. “Hey mum, I’m good, how are you doing?” He sounded very happy to hear her. “I’m good too, one more week.”

She realized she really only had one more week with Richie. “Can’t wait until you’re home, I miss you. Do you want to talk to grandma?” Caleb asked. “I miss you too Kid. Can you get her for me?” She really did miss him and his brother, one more week and she’d be home. “Yeah.” She heard him lower the phone and walk around.

“Sarah?” She heard her mum’s voice. “Hi mum.” “Hey sweetie, how are you doing?” Her mum asked. “Really good, I think I made a lot of progress this week.” Sarah finally realized that she had and was proud of herself for it.

“You’re doing good, keep listening to your therapists, they’ll help.” Her mum encouraged her. “It’s not only them…” Sarah didn’t finish the sentence. “Who else?” “Richie.” “Richie? That’s a man’s name.” She said surprised. “Yeah, he’s a really good friend.” “You’re making friends? I’m so proud of you.”

“He’s very sweet; I really like him, a lot.” Sarah said with a smile, even though her mum couldn’t see it, Sarah was sure she knew it was there. “Sarah,” She said strictly, “go for it, I mean it, if you like him in that way don’t let fear stand in the way.” She encouraged her daughter. “I’m trying to do that and he knows so he’s going slow too.” “That’s good, keep it slow and talk to him so he knows what you want.” “I know mum, I’m trying.” Sarah sighed.

She continued to tell her mum what she planned this afternoon before asking if she could talk to her boy.

When her 45 minutes were up she gave the phone back to Tina and thanked her.

She looked up at the big round clock above the desk, almost noon, she should go find Richie.

A few minutes later she found him in the living room, watching MTV Classic, he must be really happy to listen to some music so she sat down next to him instead of him asking to go with her yet.

“What are you watching?” She seemed to recognize some tunes. “80’s music.” He answered. He was sure he’d show up in the program but hoped no one realized it was him.

Sarah recognized the guitar play that Richie had played for her only a few days ago. She looked up at the tv and surely it said Bon Jovi. She wanted to say something but caught herself before she did. Instead she reached up to whisper in his ear. “You looked silly.”

His lips curled into a smile, he knew she was only teasing. “I was considered pretty hot back then.” He whispered back. “Not anymore?” She wondered. He shook his head. “Nah now I’m considered an ugly 50 year old.” “You’re 50?” She said out loud, surprised.

He chuckled. “51.” “Really? I would have never guessed that.” Just then a nurse tapped Sarah’s shoulder and asked her to come with her. Sarah got up and followed her to the kitchen.

Together they got all the things together and Sarah went back to the living room. “Want to go for a picnic?” Richie looked up at her and she showed him the basket she was holding. He didn’t have to think about it and got up. “Show me the way.”

Sarah walked outside and to their bench but walked past it, around the pond to where the trees were, they’d have more privacy there.

Richie helped her spread the blanket on the ground. He sat down and pulled Sarah with him to sit right next to him. “What are we having for lunch?” He asked. Sarah reached for the basket and started unpacking it. “Orange juice, sandwiches and cake.” She placed every item on the blanket as she named it. “Looks good.” Richie said.

They started eating and talking about all kinds of things. Sarah told Richie about her plan of getting a job after she left the center. He liked the idea and encouraged her, sure she could do it, they started thinking of all the jobs she could do.

She told him more about what she had studied and how she wanted to do that now more than ever. Deep inside she hoped she would have enough courage to go back in September. She only had one more year to finish, wouldn’t it be possible?

After lunch they moved the basket away. Richie lied down on his side, supporting on his elbow, Sarah did the same, and she faced him. “Come here.” He reached for her chin, he kissed her, making the kiss deeper before he realized what he was doing. He let her go and leaned back.

“God Sarah,” he sighed, “I gotta tell you and I hope I don’t scare you away.” His eyes met hers before he continued. “I like you, a lot and I want to keep seeing you after we leave.” He finally said the thing he had been wanting to say.

“I want that too.” Sarah smiled at him. He couldn’t be happier at that moment. “And I want to take this slow for you, so you have to tell me what you want.” “I will.” She agreed.” “And tell me what you don’t want or if I’m going too fast.” “I will.” She agreed again. “But right now I want you to kiss me like that again.”

She moved closer to him, Richie smiled, exactly what he wanted. He kissed her again, leaning her back on the blanket, but she didn’t let him and pushed him back. Sarah took his free hand and placed it on her hip. Richie deepened the kiss, he stopped trying to lay her down as Sarah wouldn’t budge, he just lay next to her.

His hand on her hip, slightly travelling up to her side, stroking back down over her back.

“I feel like I’m in high school again.” Sarah said when they broke apart. “What? Did you take boys on picnics back then too?” Richie joked. “No, more like learning to kiss and trust again.” She shook her head when she laughed.

“Learning to kiss?” Richie asked confused, surely it wasn’t the first time she kissed anybody. “Well, I haven’t kissed a man in about 10 years, even longer since I’ve enjoyed it.” It was true.

Richie felt some sort of pride that she enjoyed it with him. “You must be a natural then cause you’re really good.”



Go to the next chapter

Friday, May 11, 2012

Chapter 14

Just as fast as the rest of the week had gone, there was Friday already.


Richie woke up with a fantastic idea and picked up his guitar after he had dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.


He played a few songs, almost including every album. When he had played all the songs he woke up thinking of he noticed the time on his alarm clock.


He quickly put his guitar back down and ran out of his room, pulling the door closed behind him, letting it slam. He sprinted down the stairs, careful not to fall, through the hall to the group therapy room.


He was already late; would Sarah still have gone without him? He pushed the door open and saw everyone already sitting in a circle and did a quick scan of heads on who was there as he apologized for being late. “I’m sorry I’m late, I was playing guitar and forgot the time.”


“It’s alright, please sit down so we can continue.” Their therapist said.


Richie noticed Sarah sitting and the empty chair on her left. He walked up to her and sat down in the chair next to her. “Thanks for saving me a seat.” He whispered to her.


Sarah smiled, she had been hoping he was just late and was so relieved when he almost stormed into the room, although if he hadn’t showed up, she would have stayed too. She would have been too scared to get up and leave, so she would have sat it out. After the first half hour she got less nervous and realized she’d still be fine in a room full of people without Richie. But now that he was here, she couldn’t be more relieved.


By the time it was lunch Richie was starving. Having missed breakfast he hoped therapy would be over soon so he could eat. He heard his stomach growl again and hoped nobody else heard it.


Finally they were dismissed and the group moved to the kitchen for their lunch break. As usual Richie sat down next to Sarah.


“Any plans for tonight?” He asked her. “I don’t even have plans for this afternoon, why?” She had the whole afternoon off and planned to either watch tv or sit outside on the terrace, reading a book. “Great, we should check if our bench is still there after dinner.” He was sure she’d like his idea. Sarah nodded, “Good idea.”






After lunch Richie was off to his private therapies and Sarah went to the living room. The tv was already on but she wasn’t interested in what was on and walked over to the book closet to look for something more interesting.


Just like every time she was about to start a book, she had no idea which one to pick out to read. A little confused she looked around the room, finding a familiar face at the table; she pulled out a chair and sat down next to the lady.


“Hi, I’m Sarah.” She introduced herself as the lady put a bookmark between the pages of her book and looked up at Sarah. “Hi, I’m Sandy.” She smiled friendly. “Nice to meet you Sandy. I wanted to ask you something. I noticed you read a lot of books and I can’t make my mind up about which one to read, so can you tell me a good one?” “Of course I can.” Sandy said cheerful and got up to walk to the bookshelves with Sarah.


Sandy started pointing out books quickly telling Sarah what they were about. Sarah nodded and listened.
After Sandy finished explaining Sarah picked out a book and Sandy was about to go sit down again. “Would you like to sit outside with me?” Sarah asked, she liked Sandy, she seemed like a shy person but a friendly person. “Yeah of course.”


Together they walked out and sat on one of the sun beds to read their books.


While they read they talked just like yesterday when Sarah watched tv. Although she did feel more comfortable to talk to one person at a time. After introducing herself she felt a lot more comfortable already.


It felt nice to sit outside, talking to a person. She hadn’t been able to just talk to anyone, she didn’t have any friends.


It was nice to talk to Sandy and they spent the whole afternoon talking and occasionally reading their books. First they were just talking about their books but soon the books were forgotten and they talked about whatever their conversation brought them to.






During dinner Sarah sat with Richie and was surprised Sandy joined them. Richie introduced himself to Sandy. He remembered Fred pointing her out two weeks ago but he had never said anything to her. It was nice talking to her; she seemed like a relaxed person.






After dinner Richie went up to his room, he picked up his entire guitar case and walked back downstairs. “Ready to go?” He asked walking into the kitchen.


Sarah quickly said goodbye to Sandy who nodded in answer and walked outside with Richie. “Are you going to play for me?” She asked when they sat on the bench and Richie put his guitar case up straight against the arm rest.


“Yes, it’s time for you to come out from under your rock.” He said, it was just impossible she didn’t listen to any music. “What if I like my rock?” Sarah joked, comfortable enough around him to make jokes. She wouldn’t mind some music.


“If it’s bad, I won’t play any music for you again.” Richie said, knowing she’d like it anyway. “You’re very sure of yourself.” If he was willing to not let her listen to music again, he must be very sure he was really good or that she would be impressed.


Richie picked up his case and zipped it open to take his guitar out. He zipped open a small pocket and took one of the guitar picks out. “Ready?” He asked. “Go for it.” Sarah turned a bit in her seat to be able to see him better.


Richie tuned the strings a tiny bit before playing the first song.


Halfway through the song Sarah started smiling and nodding along, he knew she’d know it. “I know that song.” She said excited when Richie finished playing. “I knew it was impossible to not know Bon Jovi.” He smiled. “That was Livin’ On a Prayer.” “So I know your band.” Sarah said happily, if she did know them, his band must be really good then.


Richie cleared his throat and started the next song. He was proud of the band and of himself, if someone that didn’t listen to music knew them, which must mean they really are that good.


He’d just have to get her the Ultimate Collection if he would see her in two weeks.


“So you do know my band.” Richie smiled happily after a few more of their greatest hits song, even though she only knew the tune or the chorus, she still knew the songs. “I guess I do then, at least those songs.” She hadn’t expected she would but was happy she knew his music anyway. An embarrassment averted.


She knew his music and really liked it too. “Was that my private concert?” “I’m not done yet, I have a few more songs but you probably won’t know them.” “What if I do?” Sarah asked, doubting that she would. “Then you can call yourself a Bon Jovi fan.” He was pretty sure she wouldn’t know them.




“That was beautiful, so sensitive. What’s it called?” Sarah was touched by the song. “Everybody’s Broken.” “It’s really beautiful.” She repeated. “Ready for the next, three more to go.” He smiled and started Superman Tonight, followed by Seat Next To you.


He hoped she could fit the songs together and understand what he was trying to say. “This one is one of my solos. I hope you liked this one too.” Richie tuned the stings again and played the next song.






“Do you have a lot of solo albums?” Sarah asked afterwards, impressed with the song. “Only two.” Richie reached for his guitar case to put his guitar safely back again.


“You should do more solo, that last song was beautiful.” “That one is called The Answer.” He was glad she even liked one of his solo songs, so much that she thought he should make another album.


“I liked all of your songs. The ending was beautiful.” Sarah said as Richie sat up straight again. He gave Sarah the guitar pick he had just played with.


Sarah looked at it, it was white with his name written on it in gold. She swiped the pad of her thumb over the writing. “Thanks.” She was touched by the small gesture.


“I’m glad you liked all the songs.” He had played almost a whole set, almost 15 songs. “I had a very nice evening.” Sarah said as they walked back to the building. “I did too, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Richie smiled.


“See you tomorrow.” He said goodbye at the top of the staircase, he was about to turn around when Sarah stopped him.


“Wait, don’t I get a goodnight kiss?” She teased. “All you need to do is ask.” Richie was relieved she asked him.


He bent down a little as Sarah reached up, they gently kissed.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Chapter 13

Thursday morning Sarah accompanied Richie to group therapy again. He was proud she made the step to go with him; he hoped she would for the rest of the days too.

If anything did work out between them, she’d see a lot more people, but if she got over her fear of people, mostly men, she wouldn’t be scared anymore, wouldn’t she? He hoped so or it would get really difficult.

In the afternoon they were both off to their own therapies.

Richie knocked on the door he had knocked on almost every day for the last two weeks. Two weeks, he realized, he had been her for two weeks already, he was halfway there. Livin’ – shut up, he told himself.

He thought about how much he had learned already. In group therapy he understood that addiction affected the people closest to him, which made him think of Ava and he knew it was true. During his time off he had spent more time getting drunk than with her and he didn’t want to hurt her at all. She was the most important person in the world to him.

She was the reason he was doing this, for his Princess. She was also the reason he’d succeed in this. He knew this time would be good, after this month he was done. No more alcohol. None at all, he’d be a bore at parties but what does it really matter what someone drinks? From now on he was going to have fun without alcohol.

At least he’d remember the fun he’d had the night before and wouldn’t feel horrible the next day. He was going to get his life right again, on the right track.

First he was going to stop drinking, then after the tour he was going to be home for a whole year. Catch up on lost time with Ava. He would work on his solo, this time Jon would have to wait. And when he did have to travel, he wouldn’t be gone for more than a few days. He was going to be home for Ava.

And between all that he was going to pursue Sarah.

Being with her, he couldn’t drink, he couldn’t do that to her.

He couldn’t believe how many reasons he had to not drink. Therapy had shown how many people he had let down, Ava, all his friends, his millions of fans and even Heather.

On the other hand, he was proud he was doing something about his addiction and the problems that were the reason of it.

This time he’d be fine after he left.

He hoped he would still have Sarah then too; he liked her around him, when she was around, everything just seemed ok, and everything was going to be ok.



A few doors down the hall Sarah was just leaving her private therapy. She closed the door behind her and walked to the stairs to go up to her room. She stopped when she reached the stairs and looked around to the different rooms. Finally ending on the living room, she turned around and walked away from the wooden staircase and towards the living room where a few people were sitting. It was only a handful of people, she’d be ok.

The tv was on and everyone was watching it so she sat down in an empty arm chair and watched too.

Only when the commercials started did someone talk to her. She had talked to Fred before. Well Fred had talked to her, she hadn’t said much back.

This time they did the formal how are you and how was your day. Then Fred introduced her to the four other people in the room. Sarah politely smiled at everyone in the room.

The documentary on tv started again and everyone’s attention went back to it.

It went like that every commercial break. Sarah liked it, she talked for 5 minutes and had 15 minutes to recover of it and talk again. In the short 5 minutes she actually liked having a conversation and sharing her opinion with everyone in the room.

She was actually happy she didn’t have any more sessions in the afternoon. Even though the short conversations weren’t really about anything important, mostly about the documentaries they were watching, she was actually having a good time.

Sarah was proud of herself; she was talking to people instead of hiding in her room like she did most of the time.

Tomorrow her therapist would encourage her to talk to more people. She only had one more week here and she did feel less frightened and not only around Richie. He must have been right about group therapy, look where she was right now.

She had felt nervous the moment she walked in but even now when there were more people in the room than before, she still felt good and realized not every person was a bad person.



When the third documentary she watched was over and the fourth had been a few minutes into it she felt someone sit on the armrest of her chair. She almost jumped up in surprise before realizing who it was. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized. Sarah smiled at him. “It’s ok, this is just very interesting.” She pointed over at the big tv screen. “Seems all they have here is discovery channel.” Richie said, at least it was on all the time. Where were the music channels?

He got up from the chair and walked over to sit on one of the couched. He would have loved to cuddle up with her in the chair but from this seat on the other end of the room he could watch her.

Her dark blond hair reached to the middle of her back, her eyes were intent on the tv. Then he noticed her lips, so full and pressed together. He was glad he had finally kissed those lips and knew he’d get to again. Just beautiful. His eyes wandered South, her chest rising and falling as she breathed. Those breasts, just perfect, he knew they would fit in his hands perfectly.

Don’t go there, eyes up. He told himself. Slow, he reminded himself, he had to go slow. Thinking of her breasts was not slow. If any chance he had, he had to go slow.

He only had two more weeks left at the center. Sarah was there before him which meant she was leaving sooner, but when? Would he still see her after they both left and had gone back to their own lives?

Finally Sarah felt his eyes on her as the commercials started. They made eye contact and she smiled at him. He looked so sweet caught in his act, Sarah thought.

She realized he looked sweet every time she saw him. Maybe it was something about him. The same thing that made her feel so comfortable around him.

Richie looked away from her and turned his attention to the animals on the tv screen.

Sarah continued watching him. She liked the rock star look he had, now that she knew he was a rock star, it made more sense and he looked good. His dark hair reached to his shoulders. From under his t-shirts sleeves she thought she saw a tattoo on his toned arm.

Sarah wondered if she could keep feeling the comfortable feeling she had around him, after she left. Next Sunday she would go home again, to a new life, would he be in it? She knew had 10 more days with him but did she only want 10 Days? A hundred? Or maybe even a thousand?



Go to the next chapter

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Chapter 12


Monday morning Richie was one of the first in the kitchen, usually he was last but this morning he felt exceptionally cheerful and didn’t want to stay in bed.

Now he knew Sarah liked him too, why would she kiss him otherwise? He knew if he kept the pace slow he could make something happen between him and Sarah.

He looked up when the chair next to him got pulled out. “Good morning.” He smiled happily. “You look dorky when you smile like that.” He chuckled at her remark. “That’s your fault.” It was, his day just turned even brighter just by her showing up. “It’s cute too.” Sarah smiled back at him. “Peanut butter?” Richie asked when he was done putting it on his toast and wanted to pass it to Sarah.

“I should head off to group therapy.” Richie said as everyone was leaving the kitchen. “Are you coming too?” Sarah shook her head as soon as he asked his question. “I’ll be there, right next to you.” Richie encouraged.

“No, I can’t.” Sarah said, she already had to sit through breakfast with everyone; she couldn’t handle 3 hours of group therapy. “Alright.” Richie said, “Think about it, and come with me tomorrow.” He was going to convince her to come with him and meet everyone but he wasn’t going to push it either. He was going to be there with her through all this. He got up from his chair, kissed her cheek and left the kitchen.



Tuesday morning went the same, Richie tried to convince Sarah, telling her he wouldn’t leave her alone for a second and would be at her side the entire time but Sarah said no again.

Richie didn’t particularly like group therapy himself but it had helped him understand what he was doing to the ones around him and how he was supposed to talk to them about his feelings. He was sure he’d put everything he had learned the last week into action after he left the center and went back on tour, it wouldn’t be easy but he was confident.



He didn’t give up and asked Sarah again on Wednesday if she was going. “You promise?” she asked carefully. “Yes, right next to you, the entire time.” He said quickly, hoping she’s say yes, if she did, she had made progress. Sarah took a deep breath, Richie became more hopeful. “Alright, I’ll go with you but you can’t leave me for a second.” She couldn’t believe she agreed to but Richie was going to protect her. “I wouldn’t dare or want to.” Richie said and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. He was going to ensure her there was nothing to be afraid of.

Half an hour later they stood in the therapy room. The room was at the back of the building and had an entire glass wall like the rest of the building.

Richie stood on Sarah’s left and held her hand in his. After everyone had said hello they sat down on their chairs in the circle. Sarah didn’t know what to expect but was happy to see they were only talking. She wouldn’t have to say a thing, unless someone would talk to her, she hoped they wouldn’t.

Soon enough that hope was taken away. “It’s nice to finally see you here too Sarah” Their therapist said from his lonely spot in the circle, almost across of her. Sarah simply smiled and Richie squeezed her hand. “And good to see you’ve made a friend.” The therapist added before telling what they were going to do today. “Tell the people next to you what you hope to achieve when you leave here.”

Sarah sighed, she didn’t know what she wanted to achieve, to not be afraid and find a job maybe even start a relationship. She couldn’t possibly tell them that.

She looked at Richie on her left, he simply held her hand and smiled, and then she looked away, to her right. The difficult part first. Richie did the same and turned to his lift.

A few minutes later they met again. Richie had the same comforting smile on his face as before; suddenly Sarah knew what to say. “I want a good and healthy relationship.” She said barely louder than a whisper.

Richie squeezed her hand again and his smile grew wider. “I want that too,” he said, “with you.” He added, making it clear for her.

Sarah’s smile spread across her face, she leaned in to Richie and kissed him.

When she realized she was in a room full of people, kissing someone, she pulled away. Richie chuckled with her reaction and saw her cheeks turning pink. “It’s not funny.” Sarah scolded him. “Sure it is.” Richie said as he leaned in again, “besides, I like kissing you.” He kissed her again; therapy couldn’t be over fast enough for him now.



After dinner they sat at their bench by the pond again. “I’m beginning to think to take this bench home with me in two weeks.” Richie joked, it was their bench, they had met there every time they had talked and their relationship grew closer.

“As a rock star you probably can.” Sarah said. “But as a rock star I can also do this.” He nipped her bottom lip before kissing it. “And I like this better.” He mumbled against her lips

Sarah melted into him. “So do I.” she tried to say as Richie’s tongue slipped between her lips and past her teeth, finally rubbing over hers.

Sarah sighed when they took a second to breathe. It had been years since she had kissed someone like that and actually enjoyed it. It felt good to do. Richie pulled her closer again and Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

After a while Richie just held Sarah against him, her head on his shoulder as they watched over the pond. During the second week of May the weather was warm as always in Los Angeles but Sarah shivered. “Let’s go inside.” Richie suggested, it was already getting late and helped Sarah up from the bench. Together they walked back to the building.

Richie had his weekly phone call to make and was going to his room afterwards.

At the stairs in the hall he hugged Sarah for the last time that night. “Good night.” He watched her go up the stairs until she turned the corner to the ladies bedrooms wing.

He walked over to the front desk, leaning on the high desk, he smiled at Tina. “Hi” Tina chuckled at his happiness. “You look happy tonight.” She said, she started to look for his phone. “How can I not?” He asked. “I found the most perfect girl in the place I’d least expect it.”

Tina handed him his phone. “Sarah? I’m glad you two found each other, but it’s not going to be easy, you both have your struggles.” She said. Richie nodded, he knew that. “But together we’ll get through it.” He said and turned to the sitting area by the entrance.

He dialed Jon’s number first. A surprised “Rich?” sounded on the other end. “Jonny!” Richie said excited. “How are you?” “Good Rich, how have you been?” Richie smiled, it was to hear his best friends and he was just happy. “Pretty good, can’t be better actually, well yeah it can, I could be on stage, but at the moment…”

Jon was surprised his friend was having fun at rehab. “You didn’t escape did you?” “No, don’t think I want to escape either.” Richie laughed out loud. “What kind of drugs are they giving you there?” Jon joked, but sounded serious. “Bad medicine.” Richie said simply, knowing Jon would get it. “Really? Is she pretty?” “She’s the most beautiful girl ever.”

Richie sighed as he thought of Sarah, she was so beautiful and he finally got to kiss those lips. “Leave it to you to find a girl at a rehab center.” Jon joked again, in fact he was happy Richie had found someone he could get support from and maybe more.

“I’m not cancelling the tour so you can elope to Vegas.” Jon said strictly. “Don’t worry,” Richie answered, “I’ll elope on my day off in the middle of the tour.” He heard Jon laugh on the other end.

“Jon, I have to go, say hi to everyone from me.” “Will do, take care.” Jon said and with that their conversation was over and Richie phoned Ava.

After talking to his daughter Richie gave his phone back to Tina and said goodnight.

Go to the next chapter 

Friday, May 4, 2012

Chapter 11

The next morning Richie was glad he had played some songs, he had missed it. He couldn’t resist it to start thinking about writing but couldn’t find a note book in his night stand or in his desk drawer. He didn’t have his iPhone for notes either. He just hoped he remembered what was going on in his mind until he found some paper to write it down. He wasn’t sure if it would become something but he had to try and see what it could become.

At breakfast he found a seat next to Sarah. “Good morning Sarah, how are you this lovely Sunday morning.” He asked with a bright smile.

Sarah chuckled. She noticed she did that a lot around him. “I’m alright. You seem cheerful this morning.” She said. “Yeah, I got to play guitar and I get to sit next to you now.” He smiled again.

Sarah chuckled again; he was so sweet to her. “You know that pond we always end up?” Richie asked after he finished a bite of his toast. “The one with the water and the tree behind it?” Sarah joked. “Yes exactly, that one!” Richie laughed. “Anyway, do you think we can go there again and maybe talk?” He asked.

Sarah just couldn’t stop laughing at his silliness, it was cute. “I think we can, I don’t have any big plans.” She couldn’t believe how comfortable she felt around him, it was so easy.



After breakfast Sarah and Richie got up together and walked to their bench. When they left the main path to step on the grass to find their bench Sarah took Richie’s hand in hers.

Richie smiled to himself and turned his hand around to hold hers. Sarah smiled too, happy Richie had returned her gesture.

As they sat down on their bench Richie didn’t let go of Sarah’s hand so she couldn’t sit too far away from him. “What do you want to talk about?” Sarah asked, looking at their joined hands. “You told me about your life so I think I should tell you about mine.” Sarah nodded, that seemed fair to her.

“So eumh,” Richie started, “I grew up in New Jersey, started playing guitar when I was 13. I went to college for a while but didn’t do well, too busy playing music. After that I got signed to a band and we’ve been playing ever since.” He said, he didn’t want to get into details yet. “You play in a band? Is that your job?” Sarah asked, so many people played in bands but good enough to live off. “Yeah, we’ve sold over 150 million records.” Richie said proudly and watched Sarah’s expression turn surprised.

“So you’re a musician? Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll?” She asked, wondering if that was the reason he was at a rehab center. “In the beginning it was, but not anymore.” Richie said. “We left the drugs in the 80’s but alcohol always followed me. In 2007 I got divorced and my dad died and alcohol made me forget all of it but it affected my music. I was screwing up so badly, my friends talked about it and I went to rehab.” He explained.

Sarah could understand how alcohol was always within his reach, his job sort of came with it. “I’m so sorry about your dad.” Sarah squeezed his hand. “It’s been 4 years now.” Richie said somber. “But recently I started drinking again and my ex-wife threatened to take full custody of Ava if I didn’t stop drinking.” He said sadly. “But you’re doing it now, you’ll be fine and she won’t have a reason to take Ava away from you.” Sarah tried to comfort him, stroking her hand over his arm. “I know.” Richie said still sadly.

For a minute Sarah got doubts, she was unsure. Her ex-husband had been addicted to alcohol; would Richie be a safe person?

Sarah pushed her thoughts away. She liked him; she had been able to leave alcohol behind, so why wouldn’t he be able to?

She was going to support him through it, like how she wanted support all those years ago, until her time at the center was over. “So that’s your life?” Sarah asked.

Richie thought about it, sure he had mentioned it all. His life hadn’t been as difficult as Sarah’s. “Being a rock ‘n’ roll star isn’t that easy.” Richie smiled.

Sarah smiled back. “Rock music? Tell me about your band then?” She knew she probably didn’t know them. “Well we started in the 80’s Jon had recorded a song and got a contract but needed a band. I saw them playing one night and wanted to be part of it, so I went to ask Jon and all together we formed Bon Jovi.” He explained.

Sarah nodded and smiled again, she had no idea. “You don’t know Bon Jovi?” Richie was surprised, he was sure everyone knew them. Sarah just shook her head, Richie’s expression turned even more surprised which made Sarah laugh.

“Bad Medicine? Livin’ On A Prayer? Wanted Dead or Alive? You Give Love a Bad Name? Keep the Faith?”

She just shook her head with every song title he said.

“It’s My Life? Have a Nice Day?”

Again Sarah didn’t know.

“We Weren’t Born To Follow?” He asked hopeful. “No, sorry.” Sarah said. “I told you I don’t really listen to music.” Richie smiled, “Don’t be sorry, I think it’s good.” It was good, this way she had no idea who he was and wouldn’t think she knew him like people always did just because they knew his face.

He gently tucked back the locks of hair that had fallen loose while Sarah shook her head, he leaned in to reach her better.

Before Sarah knew what she doing, she had leaned into him, kissing his soft, full lips.

He softly kissed her back, not wanting to push her, his hand moved and held the back of her head as he sucked her lower lip before gently kissing her again.

Sarah didn’t want to let go, it felt so good to kiss him, to be close to him.



Go to the next chapter